E17 Blessing & Joy on the Other Side: Why Your Comfort Zone is Overrated (Part 2)

SHOW TRANSCRIPT:

Jennifer Cudmore (00:59)
Hey, we are back with part two discussion about the comfort zone. I’m here with Rosalynn today. And so we left off with a discussion about the drive from Alaska down through Canada and then into the States through the Alcan Highway is what they call Alaska Canada Highway. ⁓ so from the time, so when my sister and I drove it with the dog, when we…

looked it up on the GPS, it said, I wish I would have wrote this down, but it said something like, from the time you cross from Alaska into Canada to where we were gonna come out in Washington state was approximately 44 hours or 42 hours of driving. And because we weren’t allowed to stop because of the rules for COVID, they wouldn’t let us stop at a hotel. So we ended up having to just drive straight through. We ended up.

It took us about 38 hours. Again, I wish I would have written it down, but 38 hours of straight driving. Obviously we stopped to use the restroom and get gas, but that was it because they had told us due to the COVID restrictions, we were not allowed to ⁓ stop anywhere for food. We were not allowed to stop anywhere to spend the night. So thankfully we had loaded up on tons of snacks just to get us through so we could get to Washington state and then.

Rosalynn Lasley (01:55)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (02:18)
stay the night with a friend of mine down there. yes, definitely crazy. And unfortunately, I think I was so tired. I don’t remember a lot of the drive. So I’m kind of glad because I know there are some steep cliffs that I was very worried about. And my sister ended up being the one to drive most of those really steep, narrow roads on those cliffs. ⁓ So I was kind of thankful for that. Although I don’t think she was real happy, but it worked out. God helped us.

Rosalynn Lasley (02:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (02:45)
Anyhow, the Alcan Highway, what an adventure. Tell me more about your drive, Roslyn.

Rosalynn Lasley (02:51)
couldn’t drive at all, my husband did, and I cannot remember if they told us we weren’t. I mean, I know that they said we weren’t supposed to stop, but I can’t remember if it excluded like hotel stay or not. But I know that we did stay in a hotel, so we may have just broke the rules. I don’t remember. ⁓ But I know that they were, we weren’t supposed to stop, but which is crazy. Like you can’t, we couldn’t eat in a restaurant, but we could go through like the drive-through. ⁓ So we did that, but yeah, we did stay in hotel a couple of times. ⁓

Jennifer Cudmore (02:53)
Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Rosalynn Lasley (03:21)
But that was also interesting because we had our two dogs with us and so we had to find places where, ⁓ that were pet friendly. And so I feel like it might’ve been like one of the nights while we were at the hotel, I planned for, I think it might’ve been the first night I planned for the second night. ⁓ and there’s a website, I think it’s called travel math. That’ll tell you, you can either put in miles or amount of time driving. and so if you’re like,

Jennifer Cudmore (03:47)
Okay.

Rosalynn Lasley (03:48)
you know, we want to spend eight hours of driving, which ends up being much longer when you stop for gas and to walk the dogs and go to the bathroom and that sort of thing. It ends up being more like 12 hours. ⁓ but it’ll tell you like what areas are kind of around where you’ll be with eight hours of driving or whatever. And so yeah, I had found, ⁓ the first hotel was scary. I don’t feel like I slept at all and the dogs would bark at like every single noise that there was. the second night was fine. ⁓

Jennifer Cudmore (04:05)
that’s cool.

Rosalynn Lasley (04:19)
And then the third night, feel like the hotel was sketchy, but I mean, it was a place to lay your head for the night. So, but yeah, I did not like how narrow the roads were. There was tons and tons and tons of wildlife. And sometimes there would be like big giant signs that’ll say wildlife corridor. And then it has like a sign that lists all the wildlife that you potentially will come upon. It was literally everything like bison and moose and elk and doll sheep and.

Jennifer Cudmore (04:24)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (04:46)
bears and it was like everything. So just use your imagination. If it’s a, an animal on the West coast, it’s probably in Canada and it’s probably going to be in the road at some point. Um, it was also surprising to me how there weren’t really any guardrails in a lot of the places. It was just like straight down. like, this is terrifying. And we were towing, um, like a cargo trailer behind our car. So that was also scary with like having the gravel and the roads being pretty narrow and like, is there going to be a bison in the road as we go around this corner? And

Jennifer Cudmore (04:56)
you

Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (05:16)
Like I did not love it. And then we came upon one day where it was raining super, super hard. And so then my husband started hydroplaning with the truck in the trailer while we’re driving. Finally, we get to this pull off and we just sat there for a while and the hail was so big. It was like denting the hood of the car. I was like, I could not wait to get off the road. And then not far up from where we had pulled off to wait for the weather to pass, we ended up getting stuck in traffic.

but there was a really, really, really bad head-on collision along the side of a mountain. a truck, like a pickup truck hit a semi head-on. ⁓ It was really bad. And so it was like, well, I feel like the Lord spared us by giving us that bad weather because we pulled off to the side and waited. Like, would it have been us that hit them if, you know, we hadn’t have stopped because the weather was nasty and… ⁓

Jennifer Cudmore (05:57)
Yikes.

Rosalynn Lasley (06:10)
the person that was in the truck, like I don’t know how they lived. ⁓ They had to be medevacked off the side of the mountain because they broke both of their legs, but they were alive when they medevacked them. But looking at the two trucks as they like were, they had this giant tow truck of some sorts, cause you’d have to have a huge one to tow a semi truck. But seeing the two vehicles go past as they’re clearing the road so that everyone could go through, was like, what a miracle that the person in the pickup truck survived cause it was nasty. So.

We could not wait to get out of Canada.

Jennifer Cudmore (06:41)
Yeah,

me too. like, just, think COVID just made it so much more challenging. For me, it was really scary back in March when my husband hit the road and he drove his truck through. And so he is by himself driving through Canada during COVID. We can’t talk for half of the drive because of the, there’s no cell towers. And ⁓ that was…

Rosalynn Lasley (06:47)
Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (07:08)
Super stressful for me not having any communication with him knowing he’s driving through snow storms because we had checked the weather and he told me later and I’m sure he didn’t tell me the extent of it but there were several hours of driving through snow where he could barely see the road and there’s a cliff here and I was like Thank the Lord like I just knew that God was watching out for him and protecting him that whole drive and That anyhow that was extremely stressful for me being the one back home

Rosalynn Lasley (07:15)
Ugh.

Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (07:37)
waiting to hear from him and make sure he’s fine and knowing he’s exhausted. He doesn’t have anyone that he can switch out with. He’s got to sleep in the truck because he can only stop for gas and just all of those things. ⁓ So definitely lots of challenges and lots of opportunity to trust the Lord.

Rosalynn Lasley (07:44)
Yeah.

Yeah. Well, on that second

day of driving where we had next to no cell service and there was that nasty accident, the really bad weather and I had booked the hotel. ⁓ In hindsight, we probably should have just been like, forget it. We’ll just book something closer to where we were. Cause I ended up being like 3.30 in the morning when we finally got to our hotel. Cause we had stopped on the side of the mountain for a couple of hours while they had to clear the road so we could get through.

Jennifer Cudmore (08:19)
Go.

Rosalynn Lasley (08:21)
And it’s not like you can turn around, like there’s just a cliff down the side so you’re just stuck where you are. ⁓ But Dustin was like nodding off or like on the verge of nodding off because he’d been driving for so long but I didn’t feel comfortable towing the trailer. And so, or like blasting me as I can have the windows down and I’m like sing along with me like just to try and keep him awake. So that was probably foolish and we should have just like, you know what? We’ll just pull off and sleep here in the car and forget about the 150 bucks we spent on the hotel or whatever.

Jennifer Cudmore (08:42)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (08:51)
but we made it and we also wanted to get home ⁓ because it was our oldest daughter’s birthday when we were supposed to get in to Dustin’s aunt and uncle’s house. So we didn’t get home until like, I don’t know, 10 or 11 that night, but it was important to us to get in on that day because it was her birthday and we wanted to see her for her birthday. So we didn’t make it as early as we would have liked to, but we still made it home or home to Washington on time for her birthday.

Jennifer Cudmore (08:52)
Yeah.

I’m gonna move.

Yeah, I would have definitely had that same goal for sure. So the drive was crazy. I know ⁓ once we hit the States for us, it was a little bit easier. I had planned out where we were going to stop for the night, sleep, know, hotels where we could take the pets. And then we made it to my sister’s house in Kentucky and I got to spend the night there and see her family and then finish the drive to South Carolina.

Rosalynn Lasley (09:19)
Mm-hmm.

Jennifer Cudmore (09:42)
And I know you had something similar where you drove with the whole family and you stopped at some, I think you said Airbnb is what you guys used.

Rosalynn Lasley (09:49)
So we did both hotels and Airbnbs. So ⁓ we spent a week in Washington state with Dustin’s aunt and uncle. And then we spent a couple more days with his parents who live on a different side of the state. And then I think we spent two days in Spokane area, cause I have an aunt and uncle that live in Spokane, but we ended up booking a hotel in Spokane and it was like the sketchiest, scariest, dirtiest hotel I’ve ever been in my life. Like I ended up with.

Jennifer Cudmore (09:51)
Okay.

⁓ no.

Rosalynn Lasley (10:16)
When I woke up the next morning, had a rash from head to toe. I don’t know what the rash was from. It was just an awful experience. So from then on, we’re like, okay, we’re going to do Airbnb’s as much as we can because that felt safer. But it was still like, we don’t really know if we’re getting an Airbnb in a safe area of town. I feel like we kind of alternated between hotels and Airbnb’s too, cause it gave us all more space. You know, when you have five people and two dogs in a hotel room, it can feel really cramped and crowded after being.

Jennifer Cudmore (10:20)
no.

Yes.

Rosalynn Lasley (10:43)
in the car for a long time. having like a whole house where everyone can just like spread out and decompress and take a hot shower and just, you know, have some time to themselves was really important. So we did both, but I didn’t have anything planned out though. We still did kind of like the travel math, like how far will we be if we drive for eight hours today? And then I just kind of picked, so that’s how we ended up going across the US. did not like.

Jennifer Cudmore (10:45)
Yes.

Rosalynn Lasley (11:10)
Look at a map really other than ⁓ using the GPS as we were going to whatever our hotel or Airbnb was for that night.

Jennifer Cudmore (11:17)
I think that was smart to ⁓ kind of give yourself the space because three kids and then the two dogs ⁓ and then all your stuff with the trailer. just, I think that was definitely smart. I would have done it that way if I had done it with my whole family. So, all right, so let’s talk a little bit about more specific challenges of the move. You we talked about the drive and how kind of crazy that was and then the stress of.

Rosalynn Lasley (11:32)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (11:44)
packing up and saying goodbye to everybody back in Alaska. So going forward, I think one of the biggest things for me that I did not consider was the difference in culture. You would not like I did not realize such the little nuances of how West Coast does things versus East Coast or even towards the south, which is more where we are. So tell me some of your experiences with that.

Rosalynn Lasley (11:55)
Yes.

Yeah.

So where my dad and stepmom live is a very small little town. And so I, in my own head, imagined something like a little house on the prairie or something where people would be like loving and welcoming and happy and like, no, they’re like, who are you? Why are you here? Like it’s generations and generations and generations of people that all know each other. And so they recognize you as somebody that’s not from here.

Jennifer Cudmore (12:19)
Okay.

Rosalynn Lasley (12:35)
you we don’t speak like them. A lot of people around here have accents where I don’t think we do, but people say we sound like we’re from Canada. but so just that sort of thing was different. food is different. Like the brands that they carry in the grocery stores are different. So everything that you’ve been familiar with your entire life is gone. Like they don’t have any of the same brands. They don’t offer the same type of meals. There’s things that we would ask about and people didn’t know what they were. ⁓ like

Jennifer Cudmore (12:41)
⁓

Yes.

Rosalynn Lasley (13:02)
poppy seed muffins. don’t, most people here have never had them. don’t, they’re like, what is that? I’m like, it’s a muffin. Like how do they not have muffins? But nope. So it was just like literally starting over in every way you could imagine.

Jennifer Cudmore (13:09)
Yes.

The grocery store really did surprise me. There are certain things that I will buy when I go back to Alaska or Washington state, Oregon. Things like oatmeal cookies with raspberry filling in the center. We could not find those over here. And that was one of my favorite cookies or like Maui onion chips. They don’t sell that here or the specific brand of canned chili that like I ate for 40 years. Like, you know, as a kid ate. Yeah. So it’s funny how.

Rosalynn Lasley (13:32)
Yeah.

Yes, I miss that so much. Literally the exact

same thing, the chili, like here they have like canned chili, but it doesn’t have the beans in it and it tastes different. I’m like, what is this? Yeah. And I get so excited when I can find this specific cheese that I liked from the West coast. I mean, it’s still like the tiniest little thing, but I’m like, it’s so much better than all the other cheese. So. ⁓

Jennifer Cudmore (13:50)
Yes. Yeah.

Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (14:02)
When I go back to Alaska, which isn’t very often, I get certain things that are non-perishable or even the Alaskan tortillas, whatever brand it is is owned by somebody in Alaska, I will buy those tortillas because they just taste better. Everything that you know and love and is familiar has changed and it takes a while to get used to that.

Jennifer Cudmore (14:16)
Yeah.

It does because it’s a lot of change all at once, think. And so being pushed out of your comfort zone, now you’re having to eat different foods. mean, it sounds like a little thing, but when you’re in a new house, a new ⁓ neighborhood and new grocery stores and then new food and new friends and new church, it’s like, my goodness, there’s so much new all at the same time.

Rosalynn Lasley (14:46)
Yeah. Well,

and the way the neighborhood where my dad and stepmom live is that each person has at least three acres of land. However, it’s mapped out. So some have more or whatever, but all the homes are spread out pretty far. So I had to use the GPS just to get out of their neighborhood because it’s so big. And like, I don’t know how to get the mail, like, cause they have like a community bank of mailboxes. So I’m like, the fact that I had to use the GPS just to get out of the neighborhood was crazy. And then I’m like,

I don’t know where I’m going. don’t know where I am. When I get where I’m supposed to be, I don’t know where anything is here either. And so like I’d have these little victories along the way where like, I made it out of the neighborhood without the GPS or ⁓ I found what I needed at the grocery store and remembered what aisle it was on. Like I just would find these little ways to like reward myself with a little pat on the back, like you’re growing and you’re doing all these things that seem so scary and now you’re overcoming them.

Jennifer Cudmore (15:24)
Yeah, me too.

You

It’s exactly right. I would feel so foolish because there’s a lot of different freeways over here in the upstate. And so my husband would reference a freeway and I would think he meant this one and he means that one. And then a lot of the roads for some reason have similar names and I’m not sure what that’s about, but you know, you’re looking for something and you’re thinking it’s this road and it’s actually this road. And so there was a lot of confusion for me and feeling like I feel so stupid. I can’t find my way around. Like, I don’t know how I would have

Rosalynn Lasley (15:39)
and

You

Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (16:08)
managed without the GPS. I really don’t. And then it takes you a different way every time you go somewhere you’re like, this is not how I got here last time because there’s so many different side roads. I’m like, what’s happening?

Rosalynn Lasley (16:10)
Yeah, me either. I still use mine all the time. Yes. Yeah.

Well, and

nothing like there’s no streetlights here. That’s weird to me too. So everything looks so different at night because it’s pitch black. Whereas in Alaska we have streetlights everywhere. And then you have like the glow from the snow. Like people envision it being pitch black like it is here, but it’s not. Like it’s still pretty light out even when it’s dark. So like I don’t know where I am. It’s dark. There’s no streetlights. Like, ⁓ just that in itself is such a huge challenge.

Jennifer Cudmore (16:23)
⁓

Mm. Yes.

Yes.

Yeah,

I never thought about how Anchorage actually is really very much like a normal town in the lower 48, what we call the lower 48 states. with, like you said, all the streetlights and just most of the streets, I don’t know if I would say most, but they are parallel and they are perpendicular versus where I’m at now, there’s so many streets where everything is curvy, curvy, curvy, and you’re like,

Rosalynn Lasley (16:53)
Yeah.

WAH!

Yeah. Yes.

Jennifer Cudmore (17:12)
Wait, I I was going north. Now I’m going south.

it’s just, that definitely took some getting used to as well. But yeah, you’re right, the lights, because in the winter we have the snow. And so it doesn’t feel as dark in the winter up there in Anchorage. But here when it’s dark and there’s no street lights, ⁓ it feels very dark for sure. Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (17:32)
It’s very, very dark.

And, um, everything here is like route number, like where an anchorage we went off a street name. So you’re like, you’re going down C street or Northern lights or whatever it may be here. Everything is like it’s route 421, but route 421 also has a normal street name, but nobody references by that. It’ll be, you know, that’s Jefferson Avenue, but route 421, which I don’t know. I’m just making it up. But so then I’m like, I don’t know what they’re talking about. Like my brain can’t comprehend.

Jennifer Cudmore (17:56)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (18:00)
the route numbers, like give me a street name. And the, mean, all of the roads have the street name listed. So the little route number is tiny. And so I’m like, I’m never going to see that. So yeah, it’s just, it’s different. Everything about it is different. But then I remind myself like, wasn’t that the point? We wanted something different.

Jennifer Cudmore (18:20)
Another thing that I didn’t consider is I thought, you know, once we got to our new place, my pets would be fine. And it really, it took several months for them to settle in. I remember my dog, she was a ⁓ boxer.

And she was deaf, which ⁓ actually added to her anxiety that the vet had told us. ⁓ I could not like she always followed me around all her life. But this was worse. Like the second I would stand up or like lean forward in my chair, she was up and I could literally not do anything or go anywhere. She had to be in line of sight or touching me for several weeks. And so while that got annoying, I was also kind of understanding. Like, I get it.

stressful move for a 10 year old dog but I don’t know so how did your pets do with the new play?

Rosalynn Lasley (19:04)
Yeah.

I think it

was similar because so we went from Anchorage to Dustin’s aunt and uncle’s house, which they have 40 acres of land. So our dogs were just running wild there. And then, you know, they’re cooped up in the car and then they’re in all these random Airbnbs and hotels. And then we live with my parents for about six months and then we started renting the home that we’re in now. And so was like, just as they’re getting kind of comfortable and acclimated, we’re going somewhere else. So our one dog is kind of doesn’t really care a whole lot about many things. And then the other dog is

Jennifer Cudmore (19:20)
Now, okay.

Rosalynn Lasley (19:40)
very stressed out all the time. And so, ⁓ like I mentioned about her getting stressed out when we’re all deep cleaning at the same time, like I feel like her little world has been turned upside down and I feel like she still struggles with that sometimes.

Jennifer Cudmore (19:54)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (19:56)
And same with the kids, like the kids have done well, but it’s still like they’ve had to make friends again and again and again and going from everything that they’ve ever known. And, you know, they went to school where we’d gone to church for most of their education. And so then going from, you know, where they knew everyone to this little small town where they’re the outsiders to the schools that they’re in now from junior high to high school.

Jennifer Cudmore (20:07)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (20:24)
that sort of thing. It’s just been a lot of change for them, but, it’s hard as a parent cause you’re like, you know, you want them to feel stable and comfortable too. But at the same time, like they’re growing, being outside of their comfort zones, they’re learning how to ⁓ make new friends and how to just, you know, adjust with change and they’re growing in all of these different experiences. But I don’t like the human mother side of me does not like the discomfort that they face when things are.

you know, just changing and challenging.

Jennifer Cudmore (20:56)
Yeah, absolutely. I agree. I think that was a kind of a blessing for me because at that point I was starting really to fully realize the emptiness of having my daughter go to college. And thankfully she, you it was only a 45 minute drive and so I was able to see her often. But I think that would have really been difficult as a mom to you’re trying to get settled, but then you also concerned about helping your kids get settled. So I definitely see that as a.

a challenge for sure and you’ve never been in this situation before so how do you parent that, right? It just…

Rosalynn Lasley (21:29)
Well, and you

wonder like, did we make a mistake? Like at the times where like maybe I’m thriving, but if they’re not, that’s my thriving does not matter anymore. If my whole family has been flipped upside down and they’re struggling, then I would really, I would much rather endure the hardship myself than to put them through a time that’s miserable and where they are, you know, wishing that we wouldn’t have done this. And so there’s a lot of times where they had struggles with, you know, kids being mean at school because they’re the outsiders.

Jennifer Cudmore (21:42)
Good point.

Rosalynn Lasley (21:59)
Or I’m like, did I make a huge mistake by flipping everybody’s life upside down because I was struggling? So that is its own challenge. We want to make sure that what we’re doing isn’t just what’s best for us, but what’s best for everyone. And sometimes it’s hard to know. Am I seeing it through rose-colored glasses because my life is great ⁓ while everyone else is miserable?

Jennifer Cudmore (21:59)
Right.

That’s a good point. because Tim and I were pretty much on the same page. This is what, what we needed, what we wanted. So I get that.

One thing that I really struggled with back in Alaska with getting ready to go was what they call decision fatigue. I don’t know if you felt this too, but ⁓ one of my mentors mentioned it to me. She’s like, you’re tired because you just, you don’t have the capacity to make any more decisions. And I was like, that’s totally right. But she explained it to me and I looked it up.

Decision fatigue is mental and emotional exhaustion due to making too many decisions in an extremely short period. So it’s not that we’re tired, but we simply can’t think properly. And that’s exactly how I felt. And so that’s what I was saying. I was really glad that I had all these, that, you know, such a good support system and such a good tribe that could come alongside me and help me. But then when I got down here, ⁓

I didn’t have to make quite as many decisions once we were already settled, but I still felt some of that. And then, you know, we went three or four weeks without our stuff because we’re waiting for it to get shipped. We only had what we could stuff in our car. So you have the challenge or the discomfort of sitting for three weeks in a camping chair because you don’t have the couch or a chair or another piece for me being you had said that you had never seen ⁓

Virginia when you moved over here, I had never seen the house. My husband chose the house and of course, he sent me pictures. I never laid eyes on this place until we signed the day we signed the papers and walked inside. And so I remember just being really concerned and I was like, you know what? I’m just going to have to trust my husband on this because I back in Alaska was so stressed out making decisions for that half of the journey that I had to just really sit back and say, okay.

I’ve got to let Tim figure out this piece, but I will tell you I had a conversation with the Lord later. said, God, thank you for this house. You know, I’m to him about all the things I love and he was, I said, you know, I was really scared because I did not know if I had made the right decision. Was this the house? Was this the place that God wanted us to move or did I make a mistake? because I was too stressed out to

to use wisdom and discernment. And he said, he said, no, I took care of you. I knew this was the house and I knew you were overwhelmed. And I made sure your husband picked this house. And so I was like, wow, it’s just crazy how when your brain is so like maxed out, God will just swoop in and say, hey, I get it and I’m taking care of it. tell me ⁓ more about your experience with that.

Rosalynn Lasley (24:58)
Yeah.

For us, ⁓ it was not only like, this the right place that we’re meant to be? But, you we both didn’t have jobs. And so it’s like, where are we supposed to go? And we found that ⁓ the cost of living was similar to what Alaska was like, but the salaries were much less, which was surprising. And, you know, it’s often been said, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Well, we didn’t know anyone. So.

we were on our own having to figure this out. couldn’t rely on like, I know somebody who knows somebody who has this thing and they’re looking for somebody like we just had to trial and error looking for jobs. And there was a while where it was pretty discouraging because it like the doors kept being shut for us or it was a decent job, but the pay was not enough to support us or, ⁓ I don’t know. It was just, there was times where we really wondered like, was this the right thing to do? And, ⁓

We decided, like my husband wanted to get back to work right away when we got here. And I said, please just let’s give it the summer. Like this is the only time we’re ever going to have nothing that we have to do urgently. Like my parents were super gracious and letting us live with them while we figured our lives out. And now we had some money in the bank from selling our house. And so we were able to just kind of decompress and be still and enjoy the summer with our kids. And while…

my husband’s desire to support our family was there and he’s like, you know, I gotta get back to work because I gotta take care of you guys. I was like, let’s just enjoy the time with them. but then once that was over, we’re like, okay, now what? And are we ever going to find jobs? Like, did we make a huge mistake giving up the jobs that we had and the stability we had because we were, you know, delusional and hoping that things would work out differently than they are. ⁓ but Dustin specifically had two different positions that

were very similar and he was just really torn because neither of them really paid the bills but it was like how much longer can I keep looking because it’s been months. We didn’t go back to work until October and we’d gotten here at the end of June so it was a long time that we were not working. ⁓ But he, know, we’d been praying about it and I just felt like this is where he was meant to be in the place that he is now and I don’t know how it’s gonna work out.

Jennifer Cudmore (27:11)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (27:22)
in my own mind it didn’t make sense like I don’t know I just know that this is where you’re meant to be I just had that you know um disarmament I guess is the word I’m looking for like I just knew with in the depth of my being that the Lord was leading him where he was and I didn’t know how it was going to work out I just knew that it was and I feel like I’ve not been very sure about many things the way I was sure about that but again it’s still a leap of faith you’re trusting that it’s gonna work out even though on paper it doesn’t make sense that it will and it did and things are um

Jennifer Cudmore (27:43)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (27:51)
even different than they were when he started there. Like everything not only fell into place, but it worked out better than we could have imagined. But it didn’t seem possible. The Lord just was asking us to trust him, which has been the kind of theme of this chapter of our lives. Like, just trust me. It doesn’t make sense on paper. It’s not going to make sense on paper. You just have to trust me that I’ve got it all figured out for you. You don’t have to figure it out. You can just, you know, continue in obedience and following me and just know that I’m going to take care of you.

because he has, even when we haven’t been obedient and haven’t followed what he’s asking for us. So if he’s going to be good and faithful in times where we have a lot of work to do, of course he’s going to be good and faithful when we’re seeking his will and trying to abide in it. ⁓ but yeah, it’s been, it’s been quite a journey and it’s everything about it has been outside of our comfort zone. Absolutely everything. But I don’t know, I’m just in awe of how good God has been and how much he has grown us through this.

Jennifer Cudmore (28:34)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Me too, think one thing that has been such a joy for me is to see my husband thriving. And I didn’t realize how much…

Rosalynn Lasley (28:59)
Yes.

Jennifer Cudmore (29:06)
It just, was just, this is the season where we needed to move. It wasn’t like we had a terrible life in Anchorage at all. You know, we had, there was, we have so many great memories, so many great relationships and just so many ways that God showed up in faithfulness. But seasons of change are important and we have to, when God says go, you gotta go. And he,

you know, he makes a way he makes it happen. And so I love being here and just seeing how much my husband like just absolutely loves the heat. And it’s taken me a little longer to get used to the heat. And I don’t know why I just I still struggle with it. But he he just loves the sunshine. He has much more opportunity to golf.

Rosalynn Lasley (29:37)
Mm-hmm.

Jennifer Cudmore (29:48)
in Alaska when you have snow on the ground seven months out of the year, it makes golfing a really difficult hobby. And so being down here, he’s been able to do that a lot more. And it just brings me joy seeing how much joy he has had from living here and enjoying the weather and enjoying the new position with the company and just the different relationships and the different ways that he’s able to minister to people. ⁓ So that was an unexpected side effect, I guess I’m saying that that I didn’t see coming and I’m so grateful for.

Rosalynn Lasley (30:18)
Yeah, same here. and my husband’s not a complainer by any means. Like he, the long suffering is there. Like he will tolerate a lot for a very long time and he’ll do it without complaining. So, but just to see a whole different side of him come alive and like a light come on that maybe had been dimmed from the, you know, situations that he was in for a long time. It’s just,

Jennifer Cudmore (30:18)
So.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (30:42)
That is reassuring because for the longest time I’d wondered like, did I mess up my family because I couldn’t be satisfied or I couldn’t find contentment or because I was unhappy because I wouldn’t want to have them give up everything for me. But I felt like maybe I did. And so to see them thriving and happy and I mean, life isn’t always going to be perfect. There’s going to be challenges. There’s going to be things that you miss about, you know, we miss our friends. Like we don’t really have any friends here. We have

people we know from work, but not any close friends like we did in Alaska, but I know that season will come. ⁓ But there’s gonna be things that you miss from that comfort zone in your life and the familiarity of your life. But you also can embrace what’s come from this new chapter and the goodness that has been from that and know that you are blessed because you have both. You have the things that remain from your comfort zone and the lessons you’ve learned from it.

as well as what is yet to come and knowing that because you’ve done this really crazy, scary, challenging thing, like you’re capable of doing many more wonderful things if you’re willing to just step out in faith and do it.

Jennifer Cudmore (31:52)
And one thing that has been interesting to me is realizing that your friends or your tribe can…

become a comfort zone. I mean, it is a comfort zone, but it can also get out of balance if we’re relying on them too much to meet our needs or we’re not branching out and trying to build other relationships because we’re so stuck on the friend group that we have. And I don’t know that that was necessarily an issue back in Alaska, but what I’ve recognized in being here the last few years is what a joy it has been.

to make new friends. I, in the moment being here, not knowing anybody, trying to figure out who’s going to be my tribe, I still don’t really have a good mentor, which is hard for me because I had three in Alaska that were just amazing, beautiful, godly women. so, you know, realizing that I needed to ⁓

Not that there was anything wrong with my relationships in Alaska. I think they were all wonderful for that season, but pushing ⁓ out of that and going through a couple years of really not having friends, ⁓ I mean, you do slowly develop that when you’re involved in things like church and whatnot, but it takes a long time to build a tribe, at least from my perspective. And so,

Rosalynn Lasley (33:12)
Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (33:16)
recognizing all the different things where, you know, I miss my friends so much, but it was so good for me to pull back from that because now I’m developed like.

My husband and I have never been closer. I mean, he’s always been one of my best friends, but man, especially having this emptiness where it’s just the two of us, like it is amazing just the level of intimacy and bonding that we’ve been able to have by not having the kids with us anymore, but then also the new friendships that we’ve been able to develop in different ways for this season. It’s just been very enriching. And so instead of

leaning into that sadness and grief of what I left behind, I’ve been really able to embrace, no, all this new stuff is good for me. And it’s good that it takes a year to build up these relationships because then I have to rely on the Lord more. So anyhow, what are your thoughts about relationships? Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (34:11)
Yeah, I feel the same way. I feel like the best

thing that has come from moving is just how close our own little family unit has become with one another. Because since we don’t really have very many friends, like the kids have friends or the friends will come over here and stuff like that. But because we’re not all going in so many different directions because we have a huge network of people, ⁓ our little family unit is very close and in ways that we never would have been had we not only had each other. And so I

Jennifer Cudmore (34:18)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Rosalynn Lasley (34:39)
I’m so grateful for that. And sure, there’s times the kids are tired of each other because we all get that way from time to time. ⁓ But at the same time, like I was telling my husband yesterday, I don’t feel like our life is lacking. Even though we don’t really have any close friends here, I don’t feel like we’re missing anything. I said, you know, this is the first time in my life and my adult life anyway, that I don’t remember like feeling like I needed to go on vacation. Like I don’t feel like there’s.

Jennifer Cudmore (34:43)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (35:06)
a need to escape the life that we’re living. don’t feel like I want to run away and hide. Like, I’m content and like, we’re enjoying the warm weather and if we want to go to the pool, we can. And ⁓ I just don’t feel like we need to escape the life that we’re living. And I’m so thankful for that. And I never thought being on this side of ⁓ feeling that way was possible or…

Like how could you not want to go on vacation? Well, I’m content. Like I’m happy here. I don’t feel like I need to run away. Like sure vacation is nice and it’s nice to have time off, but I don’t feel like I need to run away and I’m not dreading, you know, what’s up ahead the next day because life is happy and peaceful and you know, we’re blessed in the season and not that we weren’t blessed in the season we were in before, but you know what I mean? Like we’re not trying to escape what we have going on in our lives every day.

Jennifer Cudmore (35:56)
Yeah, that’s a good point too. ⁓ And for Tim and I, it’s been fun because we have always wanted to travel more. So being in the lower 48, there’s so much more access to things that we wanted to see and do. And ⁓ you can take one day trips or overnight trips, which is a lot harder to do in Alaska.

Rosalynn Lasley (36:07)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And I forget about

that. Like I think because I lived in Alaska my whole life, I forget that you can just hop in the car and drive for a couple hours and be in North Carolina or Pennsylvania or whatever. Like, I still can’t wrap my mind around that. If you drive for eight hours in Alaska, you’re still in Alaska. So it’s just crazy to me. And I feel like we need to work on utilizing that more than we do because like, yeah, we could just do something fun. Like let’s go to Hershey park or something, you know?

Jennifer Cudmore (36:25)
Yeah, but it’s lots to see. Yeah.

thinking about the enormous, the vastness that comes with not just moving, but literally moving from one side of the states to the other and how change is inevitable, but

We tend to shy away from it because it’s so uncomfortable, right? But change is really good for us. mean, look at all of everything that we’ve experienced, you and I, in the last few years and how all the goodness that’s come out of the change that we have gone through. ⁓ Risk was good for us. know, discomfort was good for us.

Rosalynn Lasley (37:17)
Yeah.

Jennifer Cudmore (37:19)
a lot of times the idea of a comfort zone can get a bad rap because we like to think, well, we shouldn’t stay there. If you were a good person, then you would try harder to get out of it. ⁓ you know, I mean, there’s balance. Some of the comfort zone is good for us, but recognizing that there’s a lot that isn’t. And so when do we need to move forward? When do we need to take steps? When do we need to push ourselves? And, ⁓ you know, how do we stay in the balance of

dipping our toe in the water and moving forward and not staying stuck. So do you have any other thoughts or comments you wanted to say about the comfort zone before we kind of wrap up here?

Rosalynn Lasley (37:57)
For me, was just thinking, you know, I had prayed for years that God would change my circumstances, but I didn’t want to do anything to change me. I wanted him to change my circumstances without me having to come out of my comfort zones, without having to give up anything, without having to be uncomfortable and do things that were unfamiliar. And like how foolish of me, ⁓ like why would he, and not that he can’t, but why would he change my circumstances without asking me to make some changes as well? Because like,

Jennifer Cudmore (38:10)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (38:27)
There are so many things that are out there for us and not just it’s life is not all about our own pleasure and that sort of thing, but like, is it possible that God wanted me to stay in this little tiny, you know, neck of the world because that’s what I knew or is he wanting to use me somewhere else? And that is why he brought me here, but he allowed me to be uncomfortable enough that I would decide, okay, I want to do something different. ⁓ so I don’t know. I just,

reflecting on why things had gone the way that they did and why things changed the way that they did in such a drastic way, I felt like it was the only way for God to encourage me to move ⁓ from where I was to where He wants me to be.

Jennifer Cudmore (39:10)
Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. think God definitely works that way. I heard this ⁓ saying, and I don’t know the exact quote. I’ve heard it a couple of different ways, but something along the lines of all good things that we want in life is on the other side of discomfort. So we have to, if we want to go after something that we really want, we’re going to have to learn how to be okay with being uncomfortable.

That’s just maturity. That’s just life. And so I think about that, how it was so difficult to pack up that house by myself. Well, I mean, with my daughter and, you know, be away from my husband for almost two months and, you know, just all the different challenges that you face with something big like this, but how

Like look at all the reward on the other side and all the goodness that God has brought us to. And there’s so much more ahead even now, right? ⁓ Because we continue to kind of lean ⁓ out of the comfort zone and not just stay here. So I think that.

I think of that also that phrase of if it was easy, everyone would do it. And I don’t want to be that person that settles for easy. I don’t want to be that person that settles for familiar or comfortable. I want to be that person that’s like, okay, this is challenging. This is difficult. This is uncomfortable. But what I want is more important. Like those things that are bigger and better is more important than me being comfortable. So

Rosalynn Lasley (40:23)
Yeah.

And it makes me wonder like how much more we would grow if we actively pursued discomfort. Like what would we do with our lives if we were like, God, let me be uncomfortable for a little while. Maybe it would be mission work. Maybe it would be a new ministry. Maybe it would be a new job or ⁓ learning something new. Like if we approached our life with, God, allow me to be uncomfortable. ⁓ How much more goodness would be on the other side of that?

Jennifer Cudmore (40:54)
Yeah.

I do think that ⁓ we have a tendency in our culture, in our Western culture, to ⁓ make comfort an idol. We want easy, we want quick, we want simple. And God had challenged me on that several times, really over the last several years, even before we moved, of just, you you’re getting a little too comfortable here. And the goal in life is not comfort, but that’s a tendency that we want to go after as humans. And so…

⁓ I love how you said that. Yeah, help me to be more willing and more disciplined in going after what is uncomfortable for sure. So, okay, so as we go about our week, let’s explore the depths of these final thoughts. Where are you playing it safe? Where are you hiding in your comfort zone or letting fear hold you back? Where do you need to step out in faith and take more risks?

How can you accept that being uncomfortable is actually good for you? And how can you make friends with the tension of discomfort? That’s a wrap for today. I hope you reconsider where you’re living in your comfort zone. We’ll talk to you next time. Thanks everybody, bye.

Rosalynn Lasley (42:22)
Bye.