E40 The Truth About Extended Rest: God’s Heart for Your Vacation, Your Wellbeing, and Letting Go of Limiting Mindsets

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Jen Cudmore (00:00)
let me ask you a question. What is stopping you from getting away, from taking a break for a few days, from going on a true vacation? Last week I gave several health benefits for why it’s so important to take vacations regularly, but I’ve discovered that I’m actually a lot more passionate about this topic than I realized I was. And so I thought, since I have so much more to say, I’m gonna do sort of a part two. Last week I talked about why it’s so important to make travel and outings a priority.

but I’ve also noticed how easy it is to come up with excuses why you can’t go. So today I’m gonna debunk a bunch of lies around the idea that getting away is not necessary, that it’s not beneficial, that it’s not for me, I just can’t do it. So come explore with me today.

Welcome to Into the Depths podcast where we go below the surface. We dive into who we are and break free of who we’ve been. And the topic is around vacations. Last week I discussed several health benefits, why it’s so valuable for your wellbeing, your mind, body, soul and spirit, all of it together. You need to take trips. It’s really good for your health. But I wanted to take it a little bit further because

I had started talking about some of the excuses that people come up with as to why they think they can’t take vacations and I realized I just had a lot more to say. So I cut that chunk out of last week’s episode and I’m gonna move it into today and I’m gonna expound on it.

I’ve already addressed why it’s beneficial and you can go back and listen to that episode. But today I’m gonna focus on a lot of the common reasons or what I would call excuses as to why people think that they are not able to go on a trip. So let’s dive in.

Jen Cudmore (02:22)
I have heard a lot of excuses as to why people say they can’t take a vacation and I want to debunk some of them because they’re really, it’s a bunch of baloney, it’s a bunch of lies and you just need to stop putting those limits on yourself. So let me throw these out and see if any of these resonate with you. Have you said any of these and how can you do it differently? Alright, the first one is,

It’s too much work to get everything ready to go, especially when you have a larger family. Just the prep time of leaving the house, of packing, of if you have pets, can be, it can feel like such a chore to figure out, you know, what you’re going to do with your pets. I get it. Been there, done that, you know, I know how hard it is to go on a vacation, especially with a baby because you’re taking half your house with you. But what I have learned is there are definitely ways that you can make that easier on yourself.

I would really challenge you to think about that differently. How can I pack and get ready to go in a way that works for my family, for my season of life? For me, what that typically looks like, because I tend to be a very busy person, is that it takes me a week to pack. And that may sound funny to some people. my husband.

He will throw everything in the suitcase the night before and he is good to go. I cannot do that. I have to think through everything, make sure I’ve gone over my list and packed everything. So I tend to start a week early because it takes me longer to pack because I I tend to really think through all the things. I made myself a packing list. Gosh, like I don’t know. 15 years ago, I created on my computer a

Generic packing list and I use it every time I take a trip. So all I do is print out another copy and Not everything on the list is going to be relevant. I have stuff like beach chairs or my work laptop I don’t need that for every trip ⁓ So I created myself a generic list so that I don’t have to create a packing list every time I take a trip it that saved has saved me a lot of time and energy and effort so

Another thing that Tim and I do now, now that we drive for most of our trips, we have a travel bin. We call it our travel bin. It’s got things in it like ⁓ sugar for our coffee, a scoop for our coffee. So we don’t have to worry about whether or not there’s a ⁓ way to measure our coffee when we do it. We take extra coffee filters with us in case where we’re staying doesn’t have enough filters. ⁓

What else? We take our favorite skillet that we like to cook with because sometimes we don’t have pots and pans that we like in the places that we stay. What else is in there?

I now have a little ⁓ pouch where I carry extra Ziploc bags because when I’m on vacation, I don’t wanna buy a new box every time I go on vacation. So I will throw in three or four Ziploc bags of different sizes so that anytime that I might need something, I already have it handy and I don’t have to run to the store. So little things like that, I have learned to prepack or plan ahead.

And we do have to kind of keep an eye on it and make sure when we run out of something that we replenish it. But that has made taking trips so much easier for us because it’s less we have to think about right before we leave because we already know that there are things in there that are ready to go. So that’s an idea. Those are just some tips and tricks that have worked really well for us. I know for, if you’re flying, it can be a little more tricky. One of the things I do is I have a

phone charger that I leave in my backpack so that I don’t have to worry about finding a charger that’s gonna work when I take a trip. It stays in my bag and never comes out so that I know, I always know that I’m gonna have what I need to charge my phone and my watch. So anyway, find things for you that are gonna work so that it will make taking trips easier. There are definitely different things, hacks if you will, that

that will make it to where it is not such a chore to get ready to leave. So think outside the box. That’s what I had to do. It doesn’t have to be a chore to leave your house and take a trip. It doesn’t have to be. So the next excuse that I hear people say is, I don’t have the money. And I would say this, it’s easy to find it. It’s actually easier to find it than I thought it was. It just, you have to be intentional, but…

Just like with anything in your life that’s a priority, what are you investing in? Tim and I learned to set aside bunny for vacation because we realized the value of it. It is worth it to pull that ⁓ aside and whatever it looks like, whether it’s a chunk of money that you set aside or whether it’s like a monthly thing where you’re pulling out 50 bucks from your paycheck every month. In whatever way that works for you, you have to be intentional about building up what you need to take the trip.

that doesn’t have to be an excuse I have learned after 26 years of being married and taking at least one trip a year There was always a way to afford it, especially There were a lot of times when I would pray around God I don’t know if we are gonna have the funds that we need to cover this trip. Should we cancel it? Every time the Lord showed us where to get the money so we could go Vacations are actually important to God

He will help you come up with the money, but you have to partner with him and you’re going to have to be willing to make some sacrifices in other areas. Maybe you don’t get to have a latte every week. Maybe you need to give up some of your shopping. mean, it depends. You got to figure out what’s priority to you. But we have found that it is so worth it to figure out how to pull that money from our budget and set it aside so we can take trips. This year alone, at the beginning of the year, I told God, said,

Looking at where we’re at financially. I just don’t think we’re gonna be able to really go anywhere We’ve got a couple of vacations planned I don’t know how we’re gonna pay for it and I was just praying over it said Lord if we need to cancel this because I don’t want to put us in a bind financially paying for a trip that we can’t afford ⁓ So Lord, you need to make it really clear should we cancel these vacations or not? and the Lord said you let me worry about it and

He actually blew my mind because I have taken more trips. I’ve taken three times the amount of trips this year than I thought I was going to be able to. God always provided a solution for us to be able to do that. And it is crazy to me how much God cares about me being able to get away. So I challenge you to take it before him. If some of these excuses are holding you back, I spend some time in prayer and ask the Lord,

where you have lies and limitations that you need to take care of. Where can you get rid of these excuses and begin being intentional about getting away in a way that works for you? And I would say also this, there are benefits from taking a small, simple trip. Like you don’t have to go to Disneyland or Europe every time. You don’t have to take these huge, enormous vacations and do all the things. Yeah, sometimes that’s fun.

But I have found that for Tim and I, lot of times simple is better. Like we’re happy. Like this past trip, we didn’t do hardly anything. We laid around the hotel room or, you know, ⁓ went out to eat. There really wasn’t very, I don’t think we did any activities except for going on a sunset dinner cruise for my birthday. I think that is the only activity we actually did aside from Tim golfing. Mostly I just laid around and read a book and walked on the beach. So that’s.

That’s not very expensive, right? There’s definitely ways that you can have a lovely time without having to spend gobs and gobs of money. So another excuse I have heard is that our problems are just going to be waiting for us when we get back. Why would we take a vacation? It’s not going to solve anything. And to this, I would say, yes, you are right. Because the point of vacation is not to fix your problems. That is not the point of a vacation. The point of a vacation,

is health benefits. Body, soul, mind and spirit. wellness for your whole being. It’s not about fixing problems. It’s about taking a break, getting rest, finding joy, new experiences, all the things that I talked about before. Building happy memories with your friends and family. It’s not about fixing problems. So that doesn’t even come into play when you’re deciding on a vacation. Yeah.

your problems are still gonna be there when you get back home. But now you’re gonna come home armed with happy memories and some goodness that your family can look back on. And then another excuse I hear a lot is I don’t have enough time off work. Like I don’t have the PTO stacked up because I’ve had to use it for other things. Are you being a good steward of your PTO? Are you using it wisely? ⁓

Are you are you guarding it? You know, are there things that are eating that up when you could rearrange some some things in your life to where that you could ⁓ Stack that up and use it to take a trip. for me ⁓ I had to really be careful with my time off and there were a couple times where I would tell you know Tim

I’ll stay home with the kids when they’re sick this day, but then you’re going to have to stay home with the kids next time because I’m running out of PTO. These things are going to happen. It’s just normal life. And sometimes it can be a little tricky to make it work. But instead of saying, I can’t and throwing up your hands and saying, I guess I’m just never going to take a vacation. ⁓ Why can’t you look for solution? I love this phrase that I learned a few years ago and I try to hold onto it is the idea that

looking at problems as opportunities instead of closed doors. Problems actually cause us, if we choose, can cause us to think outside the box. So instead of looking at that PTO bank and saying, I’ve only got two days, what if we looked at it and said, my gosh, I’ve got two days. What can we do in two days that would be extremely beneficial for our wellbeing, right? Or what are some ways I can build up more PTO?

I mean, there’s definitely solutions out there if we would push ourselves to think. And I also believe in prayer. If you would pray, as I said before, God, I really want to take a trip. How is this going to be possible? Here’s all the things I feel are limitations. Here’s all the excuses I’m using. Help me debunk them and find a way to make this work. He may come to you and say, now’s not the time to take a trip, but he may also come to you and say, this is important. You need to get away.

And here are some ideas on how you can rearrange things so that you can take the trip.

Jen Cudmore (13:14)
This excuse of not having enough time off work, not having the PTO banked so that you can get away, there’s so many ways around that if you would shift your mindset. And that’s really what all of these excuses are. It’s a negative mindset. And so learning to reframe that is the only way you’re gonna be able to move forward and actually make vacation possible. So start protecting your time off. Start ⁓ praying over it, asking God to help you.

With creative solutions so that you can guard that and begin to stack it up It feels like you need all the time for other things, but do you really Sometimes we take time off that we don’t really need and I used to do this a lot in my younger years and and I do regret it but I eventually learned that ⁓

We don’t need to stay home every time we have a little bit of a stomach ache or a headache. And in fact, if we would take better care of our bodies, we wouldn’t have as many headaches and stomach aches. least that’s how it worked for me. But I remember very clearly when God began to convict me of really you’re staying home because you have a headache. You know, if you wouldn’t have stayed up too late last night you would feel better today and you wouldn’t have to skip work. And I noticed that

I was skipping work because I had the time off. I just started using it when really I could have just pushed through and I could have gone and I could have did my thing. I could have maybe if it was a stomach ache, maybe I just need to drink a little ginger ale. Maybe I need to take some Tylenol if it was a headache. And those were just specific things that I tended to use to waste my time off. But you know, what are the kinds of things that you have done?

think there’s legit reasons obviously when our kids are sick or we, you know, we are really sick and have a hard time getting out of bed. Obviously that’s what that’s there for. So I’m not saying never use it. I’m saying, are you actually using it wisely and really challenge yourself to think it through when I moved into management, it became much more of a reality that

I can’t just take time off because I don’t feel like going to work. Like they need me and I need to show up for them. And I became a lot more essential. Like me being present in the office was valuable to my team. And so I learned to suck up real fast. I stopped ⁓ staying home for every little tiny headache or stomach ache or whatever it is. So I would say just.

Just begin thinking around this area, like, I using my PTO wisely? This is not about condemnation. We’ve all used time off occasionally to do things that we maybe didn’t really need that’s not what it’s about. It’s not looking back and being ashamed. It’s about looking forward and saying, okay, I would rather use my time and be much more intentional about taking a trip that’s gonna benefit me on a grander scale.

than just taking off a day here or there because I think I need it in the moment because I just feel like it in the moment. So I just wanted to throw that out there for things to think about. The next excuse that I’ve heard a lot is along the lines of I don’t need a vacation. It’s a foolish waste of time and money and it’s not necessary when I can just stay home and rest. And I get this one for some people is a really difficult hurdle to get over.

I have a friend in particular who is very much when we, when Tim and I take trips, he just really has a hard time because he thinks that we are wasting our time and our money. He doesn’t fully understand it. And I’ve, come to the point where I just, I know I can’t convince him, but I know what I need and I know it works for me and Tim. it makes me sad though that, that people miss out on the peace and the joy.

and just all the benefits of vacation because they just can’t see around the fact that it actually is really good for you to get away. And so let’s just face the truth for a second. Yes, you can rest at home. And honestly, there is a place for taking a staycation. That can be very valuable. But here’s the problem. For most people, being at home is too much of a distraction.

you will not rest because there’s so many things that need to get done, whether you get sucked into a project or some housework or somebody needs you and you don’t have a reason to not go help them. It’s too distracting to rest at home.

if you remove yourself from your normal environment and make it to where you literally cannot work, you’re removing that temptation. So that’s why it’s important to actually leave your space. ⁓ Even if it’s just for a day or two or just like an overnight trip, leaving your space takes away your excuses and takes away the temptation.

to do something that’s not restful. And so that’s why I would say you have to leave. You have to go away from your home, your normal environment, and you have to get in a space where ⁓ you don’t have the temptation to do something that is work.

and this is especially difficult for people that struggle with performance orientation, where they cannot feel good about themselves unless they’re producing. And this for me, I, I still struggle with this, where I feel like if I’m not getting things done and checking things off my list, I can feel really agitated and restless.

But the truth is that vacation is not laziness. while some people that wear busy like a badge, they think people respect them because they’re so focused and so devoted on work. People don’t respect that. You may have a couple of people that think, wow, he’s really dedicated or she’s so loyal. What a great employee. But overall, people don’t respect people that never take time off.

They don’t respect people who are always on, are always doing,

that’s just not taking care of yourself.

for people who are hyper-focused on performance and needing validation by what they accomplish,

they’re gonna struggle to take vacations. And even when they take trips, like they’re gonna be constantly checking their email, checking their phone. And so that’s just something that you have to come to the place and within yourself that you learn to be okay with turning things off and stepping away and setting that boundary. But so yeah, if you have that sort of perspective where you need that validation of constantly producing and performing, then it’s gonna be difficult for you. Taking a vacation is gonna feel like a waste. It’s gonna feel like

It’s not worth it. But the truth is that it really is. So going forward, what I want you to do in order to shift your mindset, you’ve got to start with the premise that God wants me to get away. God wants me to take vacations. Now, I get it. Hearing that, it almost sounds a little fluffy and you’re like, what in the world? For me, that was a really difficult concept to wrap my mind around for a while.

But what I came to realize is that God is actually really invested in me taking care of myself. Self-care actually really matters to the Lord, which is why he told us to take breaks in the Bible. Now, this is gonna look different for each person, so be careful not to get stuck in a box of it has to look a certain way. But I would challenge you, go and pray, spend some time with the Lord. Ask him that question, God, do you actually care if I get away? God, do you care if I take a vacation?

God, how often should I get away and take a vacation? These are great questions to ask him. And I think you’ll be surprised by that answer. I really do. I believe he’s gonna say, yes, you need to take trips and you need to do it more often. And getting away for you is gonna look like this,

while for me, it looks like going to the beach a few times a year, or just taking different trips with my husband to do sightseeing and check out different things. That’s what works for us right now in this season. There are different seasons, there are gonna be times where you can take those big grand expensive trips, and then there’s gonna be seasons where you just need to take little short, inexpensive, simple trips. There’s so much that goes into it, but…

What’s important is that you start with the premise of, yes, vacations actually are priority to God. It matters that I do this. And so how am I gonna start to incorporate that into my life? And so let me just pause right here for a second. Do not force it. If you are going into debt to take a trip, that is not what I’m saying at all. I highly recommend you don’t go into any debt at all to take a trip, unless the Lord tells you that that’s what he wants you to do.

The timing has to be right. You’ve got to have the finances lined up. Again, you’ve got to be intentional about how you’re going to set aside the funds. But again, pray and ask God, where should we go? What should we do in this season? I think that you’ll be surprised at how involved he gets in helping you plan your trips. It’s really been fun for me.

I don’t pray over every vacation, I don’t know, maybe I do pray over every vacation in a different way, depending on what the trip is about. So definitely pray over how this is going to work for you. Where do you need to shift your mindset? What does God want to teach you about vacation? Or what does God want to show you about the value of getting away? Start having those conversations with him. Talk it out with him.

be sure the timing is right. Be sure you’ve got a wise plan for finances. Be sure that you’re stewarding your PTO correctly so that you can utilize it when it matters, all those things. So look at it this way. If you refuse to take trips, if you refrain from taking any vacations, you are robbing yourself and your family of blessing.

You’ve got to invest in yourself. You’ve got to invest in your family

Build sweet memories in places that you’ve never been before. Go ooh and ⁓ over a sight that you’ve never seen before. That’s really spectacular. These are life-giving experiences. They’re conversations that you wouldn’t necessarily have at home because they’re inspired by your surroundings, by this new atmosphere. And then the necessity of rest. If you get in an environment that is restful, you will feel much more refreshed than you do just resting at home.

So again, you’re going to figure out what works best for you. We have to set aside some time to get away for the self care, for the rest, for our wellbeing. make it a priority. You’ve got to take trips. You’ve got to get away. So.

Let me leave you with this. As you go about your week, let’s explore the depths of this final thought. Have you seen yourself using some of these excuses?

How could you reframe those negative thoughts How would my life be enriched if I would begin to make vacations a priority? If I would begin to ⁓ prioritize getting away and getting out? And then I want to challenge you this, dream with God.

Spend some time in prayer and asking God for ideas. Where should you go on your next trip? What’s possible and what might he want for you in regards to getting away? Bless you, friend.