E61 Stop Settling: 5 Keys To Live Your Best Life and Become Who God Designed You To Be

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Jen Cudmore (00:00)
To live your best life, you must become the person that God designed you to be. The question to ask yourself is how? What do you do? How do you find it? What does it actually look like? What steps can you take? How do you get the life you want? Is that even possible? You can look around you and see there are people that are going places, that are reaching high, that are succeeding, but then you can also see those people that settle.

Those people who don’t believe that they have any control over their circumstances, they’re just not willing to put in the effort to better their situation. So here’s the thing, you have a choice. You can do the work and you can achieve more, or you can shrink back and just let life happen to you. If you are done with small, with safe, with settling, then stick around as I discuss some of the tangible things that you can do to live a life of meaning and purpose filled with contentment and happiness. Let’s go.

Hey there, welcome to the show. Thanks for joining us here. Today we’re going below the surface on the idea of what it means to live your best life. This is something that a lot of people talk about. And I do think that there are ⁓ some believers in certain circles who feel like the the idea of going after your best life is not biblical. And so I want to dive into that a little bit. ⁓ typically, you know, in general, people want to live a good life, right? That’s what most people.

Have as a goal. They want to enjoy themselves. They want to have meaning and purpose. They want to have fulfillment. They want to make a difference. Those kinds of things. But not everybody really understands the tangible steps of how to get there. And so I thought I would just share, you know, I was kind of pondering my own journey and what did this look like for me? And how did I come to understand what it means to live your best life and understand that yes, God does want me to pursue ⁓ becoming all that He designed me to be to.

gaining, you know, what people term the best life. And so I I’m just gonna share a five key areas that God highlighted for me on my journey that have really helped me to better my situation and my circumstances and become a better version of myself so that I can I’m able to accomplish more for the kingdom of God and fulfill my purpose. So let me just start off with the Bible verse of Jeremiah 2911. And there’s a whole bunch of

Of

Bible verses we could use. God that God does talk about ⁓ prosperity and abundance, and there’s a lot of misunderstanding around it in that ⁓ you know, the whole idea of what people have termed the prosperity gospel, which essentially means God wants everyone to be rich. And and we know that’s not true. ⁓ so there are misunderstandings on the idea of living your best life.

And I believe that every Christian ⁓ just needs to kind of work that out for themselves. I believe that God does have a best life for each of us that we need to lean into.

So this Bible verse is ⁓ or set of scriptures rather, is found in Jeremiah 10 through 14.

This is what the Lord says: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope in a future. And then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and the places.

Is where I have banished you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to a place from which I carried you into exile. So to me, this encompasses what it means to live your best life. The Lord is saying, I’m going to bring you out of those places where you have been imprisoned. I’m going to give you good things that are going to give you hope, that are going to give you a good future. ⁓ I’m going to open up the ⁓ opportunities for you to have a deeper relationship with me.

Where you’ve been in captivity, you’re gonna be freed, where you’ve been scattered, you’re gonna be now gathered together. ⁓ you’re no longer being banished because of your sin and your rebellion. You’re gonna have the opportunity ⁓ to be near the Lord again and have your your life come together. So I I could have I I was tempted to pull out a bunch more scriptures, but I thought I would just settle on that one because I just want to encourage you, don’t take my word for it. Go go dig into the scriptures look for yourself.

What does the Bible say about?

⁓ living your best life. God really does want us to have the things that we want in life. God really does enjoy giving us gifts. He wants us to be able to enjoy a certain amount of material wealth. And we have to be able to find the balance. You know, the scripture says ⁓ the the love of money is the root of all evil. so having money a certain amount of money isn’t bad but it’s our heart posture, right? It’s the motive behind it, why we

want a lot of money. So anyways, I don’t want to like dig into prosperity. what I’m saying is this God does want you to live your best life and that comes through becoming the person that he designed you to be. And so that’s where I’m going today. Let’s just accept the fact that God does want you to live a good life.

There is a best life out there for you. So how do we get it? All right. So these are these are the areas I want to bring up. First of all, you’ve got to have a growth mindset. ⁓ you’ve got to be able to look at life not from a place of shame or fear, but from a place of wanting what God wants for you. What is a hope?

for your future even look like. A lot of people will settle because they’re not intentional in growing and stretching. And a lot of it is in your mind. You know, the Bible talks about renewing your mind, but so many people don’t bother to do that. Renewing your mind actually when you read that scripture, it implies that you have to actually take some action and do some of that work yourself. God will will renew your mind and help you shift your mindsets, but you have to be intentional

about shedding the old and leaning into the new. So you’ve got to become aware of those places where you’ve got negative thinking. You’ve got to develop understanding around, okay, this is ⁓ this type of thinking has kept me stuck. So how can I begin to learn a different type of thinking? And what that’s going to mean for you is getting in different circles. So when you stay say in a in a small circle, you’re not going to be pushed and challenged to grow. You’ve got to be able

To get involved in some different things in your life in some different areas, whether ⁓ in person, virtually, I recommend both. there’s so many opportunities nowadays online where you can stretch yourself in different areas, grow some skills, or or whatever it is that that is the next step for you. ⁓ but you’ve got to understand your blind spots. What are your hindrances? What is getting in the way, and develop some awareness around that. And then along with that, you’ve actually got to be willing to change.

There’s a lot of people who shy away from developing themselves because they just don’t want to take the effort to for personal growth. And the scripture’s pretty clear

If we are to become more like Jesus, we’ve got to put some effort into it. We’ve got to be willing to do the things. The Lord tells us to not just be hearers of the word, but be doers of the word. You know, I’ve talked about that in past episodes. So what do you need to change? Where do you need to get rid of some old habits and develop some new healthy habits that are going to build a good foundation for you? Where do you need to set up some some better rhythms that as far as like your daily routine, maybe you need to let go of some things?

Spend, don’t spend as much time in front of the TV. Get up earlier. Like there’s just so many different healthy habits that you may need to implement. so you’re gonna have to do some lifestyle changes. You’re gonna have to be willing to put in the work for that. But negative mindsets have to go. Things like eliminating the word can’t is huge. Stop saying the word can’t, stop saying the word never, stop saying not enough. This is one that I’m still working on after several years. ⁓

It’s so easy to just let that fall off our tongue. And the Bible warns us about saying careless words. Like we have to be careful what comes out of our mouth. And so if we’re going to constantly be speaking negative things, if we’re going to constantly be having a negative mindset, such as scarcity or victimhood or poverty, I know it is really easy to look at those in general and say, that’s not me. I don’t think like that. I’m telling you, I was shocked when the Lord started showing me all the judgments and criticisms I had made against people.

All the ways I had negative thinking. Like I was growing up that with the saying that you paint your world with your words. And so I always thought I was doing okay with speaking the right things into my life. And I was definitely not, definitely not. And so this is a challenge ⁓ to really begin to pay attention to what is going on in my mind and my heart. What am I speaking over myself? And how can I shift the wording so that I’m I’m blessing myself instead of cursing.

Myself. ⁓ there’s you know, the power of the tongue that can affect life or death, right? It says in Proverbs, and then you know, there’s the the verses in the book of James that talk about that too. So, where are you being negative? Where are you complaining? Where are you being critical and judgmental, not just of yourself or of others? There’s so many different aspects of renewing the mind, and you’ve got to lean into that and you’ve got to let the Lord wash your mind with the power of the word of God. You’ve

Got to read your Bible. That’s foundational. And then really learning how to think outside the box. We are we have a tendency to be so narrow-minded based on our perspective, our experiences, our knowledge. And we have to actually push ourselves to think outside the box. We have to learn how to see problems as opportunities. And that that was another huge one for me. Like I would just fixate all the time on everything that went wrong and ⁓ all the ways other people were misbehaving. And instead

Of putting my effort and my energy, my limited energy into finding a solution, you know, I put all my energy into complaining and whining and trying to get other people to join me in my self-pity. And that is, I mean, that’s going to keep you stuck big time. So when you see the issues that arise, if you would start saying, Okay, darn, this happened. Well, what is my next step? How can I overcome it? What are the opportunities here? Like, what are some ways?

That I can tackle this issue that would make me better, that would make my life better, instead of sitting back saying, woe is me, poor Jen, right? So the idea of having a growth mindset, being intentional about your personal development is huge. It’s really important to do that. Another key to, you know, getting to live in that space of

your best life concept is that ⁓ we gotta have courage. I I did not realize ⁓ how much I was living in fear. I was so shocked when the Lord began to point things out to me. And I’ve shared a lot of that on other episodes and we gotta

Accept and understand that fear is normal, but the thing is we can’t let fear stop us. We can’t let it hold us back. And I think if you were to let the Lord examine your heart, you’re gonna see that there’s a lot more fear in your life than you realize there was. There are a lot more things that you’re afraid of that you’re not willing to deal with than you are recognizing because it can stay hidden below the surface. But you’re never gonna stop being afraid of things in your life. At least I don’t, I don’t think that’s possible. I think there’s always gonna be things that come up that are

To make you nervous that are gonna be scary. But the thing is, you cannot thrive if you refuse to take a risk. And so, like, I think an amazing example of this is zip lining. I remember like some people just love thrill-seeking activities. That is not me. I’ve never been interested in that. But I remember the first time Tim convinced me to go zip lining. I was super scared, I felt safe.

like I knew the cable and the the the hooks and the all the all the equipment was perfectly fine, but I still felt nervous. I still felt that fear. ⁓ and I couldn’t even identify what was I afraid of, you know, other than just as this is a new experience because I wasn’t technically afraid of falling. I was just afraid of trying something new, really. And so my husband.

is really good at getting me to try new things and he convinced me to go zigglinging. I had so much fun. Like there’s the initial fear of taking that first step of

Going over the ledge of sitting in to the harness and letting it do its thing and just let gravity work. But then as you start moving down the line and you’re seeing all the beautiful views beneath you and you’re feeling the rush of the air on your face, it’s so exhilarating. And so I think that’s just a really good ⁓ image of what it means to take a risk. The risk is okay, maybe something went wrong. You know, the harness broke, the cable broke, you know, the tree limbs weren’t fully trimmed back. So I got

Whacked by a tree, like there could be so many things that could happen, but the thing is, we don’t fixate on what possibly might happen, we fixate on ⁓ moving forward. Like, what’s the good that’s going to come out of this, and how are we gonna enjoy the journey along the way? I think what I have found in forcing myself to take risks and push past fear and choose to be courageous, I found that ⁓ it’s never as bad as I.

build up in my mind. Like those bad things hardly ever happen. And there’s so much more on the other side of that fear if we will push past and take the risk in in whatever capacity or whatever area. ⁓ you know, we get stuck on the idea of, well, what if the worst should happen? And the thing is, what if something super amazing happens? Like

more than you could have even thought possible. I mean, that that has happened to me a few times. And so I would challenge you that if you want to live your best life, you’re gonna have to take risks. You’re gonna have to choose courage over fear. And part of choosing courage is is choosing faith, right? Trusting the Lord. Like he’s gonna take care of you. He’s gonna help you stay strong. But you need to to lean into that and you need to choose to partner with him. And the more you face your fears, the easier it gets.

You’ve got to practice. If you want to overcome fear in general, you have to keep pushing yourself to face fear over and over and over again. And there’s some science behind this. I remember taking when I was at a medical conference several years ago. and they did a keynote session on fear and why it is so important to push past fear and to continue facing fear and take steps.

⁓ to you know move past challenges and take risks and i was really fascinated at some of the scientific facts that came out of it and how the truth is the more you push yourself to face fears the easier it does get over time to face more fear and and build up that

resilience to fear, I guess. So anyhow, ⁓ I’m gonna I’m gonna leave that one. So the first one is a growth mindset, renewing your mind, focusing on truth. The second one is choosing courage over fear. And then the next one is ⁓ develop endurance and grit. I think there’s a this is something that tends to be lacking in our life, ⁓ in our culture in general. you’ve you’ve heard it before we live in a microwave society. Everybody wants everything now. They want it fast. Nobody likes we

All those things. ⁓ but we have to learn to be okay with the journey being long. We’ve got to develop grit. We’ve got to develop endurance. We’ve got to build resilience. I think at the concept of being anti-fragile, which I talked about on another episode. Like

It’s not just about focusing on the destination. It’s about making every day count, making every step count. I mean, and seriously, discipline is a dirty word, isn’t it? Nobody likes discipline. I I feel like there’s very few people in the world that are pretty disciplined. And when I think of discipline, I I think of those people that get up really early and go to the gym and they’re determined to get in their exercise. I’ve always admired people that are super committed to exercise. ⁓ I have

not really ever have had that drive. I don’t particularly enjoy the gym. there are seasons where I have made myself go and did not was not very consistent with it. But discipline is super important. It’s actually a really ⁓ valuable tool that we need to develop

I mean, currently the Lord is challenging me in an area of self-discipline, ⁓ along the lines of developing better self-control boundaries, like around stop staying up so late or you know, stop doing just one more episode on TV, or even things like overeating. There’s so many places where we

in general over ⁓ overindulge. But I just mean for me, God is really challenging me this summer to tighten the reins and put up some better boundaries around these areas where I have let you know catered to my flesh and I need to be a little bit more disciplined. So endurance, grit, discipline, all of that goes together. ⁓

Remember, like this is a marathon, not a sprint. And so we have to take care of ourselves because we’re in it for the long haul, right? A lot of things are gonna have to be dealt with ⁓ along the way too. You’ve gotta deal with the lies. You that you know, we kind of talked about this in in the renewing the mind section, but like where are you believing lies? you need to get that out of the way. Where do you have limitations on your capacity?

get past that so that you can step into that stronger, more resilient attitude The fourth area ⁓ I think is the idea of learning to like yourself. And I really didn’t understand how important this was until I would say the last five to ten years. God has really been talking to me like it’s not about self-esteem, and and there really wasn’t.

push around that for a while. You’ve got to love yourself like you love your neighbor and all that. Super important ⁓ concepts that can get a little bit twisted, but you gotta truly own and embrace who God says you are. Like learning to like yourself the way that and see yourself the way that God sees you. Because He doesn’t He doesn’t focus on your mistakes and the areas where you don’t feel good enough. He focuses on the the gifts and the talents that He put in you.

It’s just like any parent would view a child. You’re you’re proud of them. You delight in them. You love watching them use their gifts and and their talents. You love watching them enjoy life, enjoy the world, enjoy growing up, playing with toys, or even sleeping. You know, we love watching kids sleep because it’s just so precious. God feels the same way about us. So remembering, ⁓

who God says you are, I really think this is a journey for all of us in that we grow up with a very skewed perspective of who we think that we are supposed to be. And God has to debunk all of that. But the thing is we gotta let him. We’ve got to lean into what does the Bible say? What are all those scriptures about who who God made us to be, you know, the royal heir, like we’re chosen, we are wonderfully made. But not just that, but it’s also the areas,

Specific experiences that we had that caused shame. We have to learn how to develop shame resilience. We have to learn how to deal with the roots of our issues. We have to learn how to take our pain to the Lord and let Him heal our wounds. And that’s not easy. That’s not fun. That’s not comfortable. So a lot of people shy away from that. But if you’re gonna learn to like yourself, if you’re gonna learn how to be the best version of yourself and become all that God designed you to be, you’ve got

To dig into this stuff, you’ve got to get some healing, you’ve got to get some freedom. a super important step is stop saying mean things about yourself. Stop it. Stop talking bad about yourself. No more self-criticism. No more self-loathing. In fact, I think I’ve said this before. God specifically gave me this phrase a few years ago.

He told me, Jen, self-loathing has no place in the kingdom of God. He does not like it when we badmouth other people, and he does not like it when we badmouth ourselves. We have to stop that. So learn to forgive yourself. Make a list. This is an exercise that I did several months ago in one of my coaching classes that I was taking through Faith Academy. my gosh, I was shocked. Shocked. I had two pages front and back of things that I

Was still feeling guilty about that. I was still feeling shame over. And I’ve done a lot of internal work. And so that stuff was still lurking down there. I was super surprised. Forgiving yourself and taking the time, spending a couple hours with the Lord to let him highlight things in your life and bring things back to your memory so that you can forgive yourself is a huge step. And you know, learning to speak good things over yourself, learning to speak kind things over yourself can be a

Challenge, but you’ve got to learn to do it. the things that come out of our mouths do not please the Lord, and I certainly don’t want him to be disappointed in me or upset because I’m saying mean things about myself that he doesn’t agree with. So, anyhow, you gotta learn to like yourself. You gotta learn to say nice things about yourself. And then the last area that I wanted to cover is the the idea that ⁓ you really have to develop that deep connection with the Lord, you’ve got to develop that intimate friendship, let him be a dad.

to you let jesus be the lover let the holy spirit be your partner and learning what does that look like and how do you walk that out in your daily life

You’ve got to be able to hear his voice. You’ve got to practice that. And I think there are still some Christians who struggle with, I don’t know if God’s talking to me or not. Well, that’s because you’re not practicing listening. You’ve you’ve got to deal with any lies, labels, and limitations that you have in the way about God and how he speaks. I guarantee you, if you’re not hearing him, there’s probably some of those in there that you need to debunk and deal with. If you feel like you’re not hearing him, ⁓ you’ve also got to choose confidence, choose faith.

the Bible’s pretty clear, ⁓ Jesus says in the gospels, my sheep hear my voice. Period. Are you a believer? Then you automatically are capable of hearing him speak. you’ve got to learn how to hear God’s voice and you’ve got to really tune into that, you’ve got to practice because he will speak to you every day if you will listen. the next thing is that ⁓ we got to allow him to teach us and challenge us in the different ways that he wants us to live.

He will gently nudge you and say, you know what, that’s that’s not really who you are. That’s really not a great way to respond. This is who you are. Let’s respond this way. Let’s make these choices because this is based on the new you. These choices over here that you’ve been making, those are the old you that stuck in the slavery of sin and and selfish, carnal, ⁓ fleshly ways. I I want you to be this best version of yourself and respond this way.

And so as we develop that

that deep intimacy with the Lord as we make time for him, as we really spend time in the word and in prayer and letting him talk to us, we’re gonna build that that depth that we so need. And that’s gonna help us become a better version of ourselves because we can better hear the Lord and we can better tap into his heart ⁓ for our life and his goals for our life. And then we can take that action into towards those areas of purpose.

And calling. So those are the areas I wanted to discuss is when it comes to how do you live your best life, when it comes to how do you become the person that God designed you to be so that you can have the most, that you can live a life of meaning and purpose, that you can have that contentment, peace, happiness, all the things. It’s it’s these five areas, and I I may this is just Jen’s perspective on it, but the five areas are you’ve got.

have a growth mindset you’ve got to choose courage over fear

over and over and over and over again. You’ve got to develop endurance and grit. You’ve got to apply some discipline in some of your habits in your daily routine. You’ve got to learn to like yourself. Start saying positive things over yourself instead of negative. And then you’ve got to develop that deep connection with the Lord. So those are the five areas that for me that’s what the journey looked like and how I I have come to the place where I am ⁓ stepping into living my best life. So

As you go about this week, let’s explore the depths of this final thought. What are you doing to get to your best life?

How are you taking tangible steps to become the person that God has called you to be? If you’re not actually taking action right now, how can you intentionally start thinking through what is your next step and then your next step and then your next step? And do you even know what your best life would look like? Have you sat down with the Lord and dreamed with him and talked about your goals and what your hopes are? If you haven’t done that, I challenge you to do that. It’s a really important step. So bless you.

friend. We’ll see you next week. Bye-bye.