E38 Break Free from False Labels: How to See Yourself the Way God Sees You

SHOW TRANSCRIPT:

Jen Cudmore (00:00)
Welcome everyone. Thanks for joining us here on Into the Depths podcast where we dive into who we are and break free of who we’ve been. Again, I’ve got my beautiful friend, Rosalyn.

And today we’re talking about the tension between how we see ourselves and how God sees us. We know that we’re supposed to live life by God’s definition of who we are, but sometimes it can get really convoluted. And so that’s what we’re gonna chat about today. It’s common for women to

think they have an understanding of who they are, but truly it’s a skewed perspective. So I found that this is something that we all struggle with multiple times in our life, I personally believe, and that it’s definitely a journey to believe God and live according to who he says and not according to our own thoughts and feelings or the labels other people put on us. So Roslyn, let’s talk about the lies we believe about ourselves.

Rosalynn Lasley (00:46)
Right. Yay!

Jen Cudmore (00:52)
Where do these labels come from? me, tell me your perspective.

Rosalynn Lasley (00:56)
I think it’s a learned behavior for sure. It can come from those directly involved in our life, whether it’s ⁓ relatives or peers. I can think of when I got my glasses in kindergarten, other kids were saying, you have four eyes. So we get those sorts of labels from other people. We also have the media and especially now social media. You don’t even have to seek it out. It’s just right in front of your face. Journalism.

that sort of thing. And so I think we spend our whole lives with everybody in the world trying to tell us who we are and define us and ⁓ by labeling us, it teaches us to label others as well.

Jen Cudmore (01:32)
Yep.

I agree. And even sometimes things that are said in a joking manner, teasing, like I remember somebody in my childhood making a comment about you are as slow as molasses. And I think that used to be like an old Southern phrase or something. But even just simple things where you’re trying to be silly or funny can land and really stay with a person. So definitely labels can come from all different places. I think also there’s churchy labels. What do you have to say about that?

Rosalynn Lasley (02:09)
⁓ Yeah,

yeah, that’s true too. ⁓ And I feel like in many ways that can sting more because church is supposed to feel safe. And so then when you start being labeled in ways that you feel are negative, ⁓ that can really hurt a lot.

Jen Cudmore (02:18)
Yes.

I agree. used to really worry over ⁓ how people in church viewed my husband because

He’s not like that just nice sweet Christian fella that you typically think that you want to see in church. And for a while that I really worried that people would think he’s too gruff, that he’s not nice enough, that he’s too opinionated. I mean, I don’t even remember all the things I was worried about, honestly. It was when we were really young in our marriage. And I remember like…

Rosalynn Lasley (02:53)
you

Jen Cudmore (02:54)
really getting to

the point where God helped me get to the place I should say that I was like who cares what they think of him I know who he is God knows who he is and ⁓ so I stopped worrying about what people thought of him you know there we went to a conservative church and so one of the things I worried about is he has tattoos so how are they going to criticize him for that

Well, he’s actually one of those people that doesn’t care what people think. I wish I was more like that. I wish I had a thicker skin. anyhow, I just wanted to throw that out. It’s not always labels that we worry over ourselves, but it can be also our families. remember also from my own child being a little bit concerned that people would label my children with certain things ⁓ because they had a tendency to behave in a certain way. anyhow, so definitely in all all areas. So.

Rosalynn Lasley (03:17)
Yeah. Yeah.

Right, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah.

I feel

like that’s for me that stings even more because you know I feel like I love my children and value them so much more than I love and value myself and so when you hear other people say negative things about your children who are of you it hurts so much more because they’re your pride and joy you know and I’ve had lots of negative things about ⁓ all of my children really.

Jen Cudmore (03:45)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Rosalynn Lasley (04:05)
⁓

Some have outgrown what others would label as bad behavior or bad personality traits. And then some haven’t, you know, they’re strong-willed and very opinionated. And ⁓ right now when you’re wanting little girls to be meek and moldable and they’re not, ⁓ that’s off-putting. But as life goes on and they grow into young women, we want women that are bold and strong. ⁓

Jen Cudmore (04:17)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (04:33)
because those are the ones that aren’t going to so easily adopt the labels that life is putting on us. They are who they are and they’re standing boldly in that.

Jen Cudmore (04:44)
And I think as parents, do sometimes say, we do sometimes label our children unintentionally because we’re trying to describe a certain behavior. remember when I used to say, my son is strong willed. And I was like, ⁓ like I felt convicted later down the road. felt like the Lord was like, yeah, I don’t really like you calling him that because I gave him this personality. And so I learned to say he can be strong willed because it is a description of who he can act like at certain times. But then I was very

very careful of not defining him as a strong-willed child. And that really helped, think, definitely. ⁓

Rosalynn Lasley (05:22)
And I think

another perspective too is the attitude that we associate with certain labels. So just because somebody is strong will does not mean that it’s a negative thing, but we’ve decided that it is. So ⁓ maybe they are strong willed. That’s not always a bad thing. We’ve just decided that that’s a negative behavior or a negative personality trait because they’re not a pushover. You can’t so easily make them do what you want.

Jen Cudmore (05:29)
Okay.

for sure. Yep.

Rosalynn Lasley (05:49)
Society does not like that. They don’t want people that will go against the grain, those that challenge what’s immoral, ungodly, those sorts of things. And so if you start chipping away at those strong behaviors and those that are boldly living out who God is calling them to be, then they are not going to be as powerful in their calling.

Jen Cudmore (06:09)
And that’s exactly what happened is the Lord showed me that I had labeled a strong willed child as as a negative and I absolutely had to redefine that for myself so that I could really understand who God had made my son to be. So absolutely. But it just you know, we do these things unintentionally. Our parents can say things over us that they don’t know is going to affect the rest of our lives. They’re definitely not trying to harm us or hinder us by by saying those kinds of things. And so it’s not about blame. It’s not about ⁓

so-and-so made me this way. We’re just bringing awareness to the different ways that we can get the labels because over time it starts in childhood and then as we grow older into adulthood we develop that false identity and we begin to live out of that because we think this is who we are and so we’re just trying to bring awareness around

Why did I decide this is who I was gonna be? Like when we live under these certain labels, we build our life on the shaky ground of a false identity. And it can be quite a challenge to learn how to see yourself the way God sees you because you’ve lived under that for so long.

Rosalynn Lasley (07:14)
For me, ⁓ was like, as you were talking through that, was thinking, you know, I was often labeled as ⁓ dramatic, you know, because my emotions and feelings were big. And so then I started to adopt that as my identity. decided, you know, if I had strong feelings or experiences, then I must be.

being too dramatic and so I tried to, you know, stifle that. ⁓ And that came to a place of my detriment. So I had some complications after a surgery and because I was afraid of seeing, or being treated as dramatic or overreactionary, I waited to address ⁓ the medical complication until it became emergent. You know, I ended up hemorrhaging and having to have a blood transfusion because I waited until it was like absolute dire.

Jen Cudmore (07:53)
Okay.

Rosalynn Lasley (08:03)
because I felt like I couldn’t trust myself because I’ve been told my whole life I was dramatic. ⁓ And so I was like, well, if I go in and I’m wrong and then I’m making a big deal out of nothing, then I must be being dramatic. And so I waited too long, even though I knew something was wrong because I was afraid of what other people would think, ⁓ or I was afraid of being wrong and not being able to trust myself with what I knew was taking place to be harmful.

Jen Cudmore (08:08)
Yeah.

That’s a great example. And I think even labels that seem good can be detrimental to us because I remember as ⁓ a child, you know, people would talk about how smart I was. I got a lot of good grades and that became like, that was the only thing about me. Like I’m smart. And by the time I got, you know, sophomore or junior year, I was like, well, wait, I’m, I’m hoping to go to college. Like there has to be more to me than just the person who gets straight A’s. And so I had to sort of step back and look at that and go, okay, do I want to be remembered?

only the kid in school that got straight A’s or is there more to who I am? And so sometimes when we get a label we can be so fixated on it that we don’t allow ourselves to become more than just that one thing.

Rosalynn Lasley (09:13)
Yeah, or we rebel against it too, because we’re tired of being defined by just one thing. You know, there’s people that were like, you know, for me, I was the good kid, I was the goody two shoes. And so then you’re like, well, now I have to do, and then I didn’t really adopt it into a great way, but I have known other people where, because they have been described as good for so long, but they…

people use that term in a negative way, like how can you take good and make that bad? ⁓ They rebelled against that because they didn’t want to be seen as only good. They wanted to be fun and they wanted to be able to make up their own mind about things. And people associate good with boring and that sort of thing. So then people go to the opposite side of the spectrum to prove that they’re not what people say. even with labels wrapped up in appearance, you have people that will say, well, she’s a little chubby.

Jen Cudmore (09:39)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (10:04)
people that struggle with eating disorders and, know, what’s body dysmorphia because they’re trying so hard to be anything except for this label that they’ve been given.

Jen Cudmore (10:16)
it begins with that place of awareness of understanding, okay, maybe who I thought I was isn’t exactly it. And then making that decision to lean into a journey with the Lord and saying, okay, God, who do you say that I am? And what does that look like? And I don’t mean specifically what does the Bible say about how God loves his children. That is extremely important and we need that foundation. But there’s also specifics like who did God like, what are the gifts that

God put in you and what is the calling that he has on your life and how do you lean into all of that together? All of that together is who you are, your gifts, your talents, your skills, and ⁓ you know the foundational things about being loved and accepted. And so I think it’s a journey of understanding who God created us to be and then learning to own it, embrace it, have confidence in it, live it out.

Rosalynn Lasley (11:11)
Yeah, and I think also, I mean, for the rest of our lives, somebody is going to label us because that’s just how it is, whether we are labeling ourselves or the world is labeling us. That is just part of life, unfortunately, or at least in our culture it is. But we can decide if we are going to assume a negative perspective about this label. Like, am I overweight?

Jen Cudmore (11:18)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (11:37)
Yes, yes I am, but am I going to decide that that’s a negative thing? Well, does it impact my health? Yes, but does it impact how I view myself? No. So it’s deciding, okay, do I fit these labels? Are they accurate? Maybe, but do I have to change who I am ⁓ or adopt these negative mindsets about myself because I have been labeled or I fit a label at a certain place in my life?

it just really is challenging what we do with that. Like if we are labeled, maybe the label fits for a little while, you know, but is that who we are and is it a bad thing?

Jen Cudmore (12:15)
Yeah, I…

I love how you said that. think ⁓ even just the other day, God doesn’t want us to label ourselves by our struggles. And I remember saying a couple of times to myself, well, I keep struggling with this one issue. And I think it was in regards to really enjoying eating processed foods. I like lots of cheese and salt. But so ⁓ I remember I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago. And one of the things that God brought up was

Rosalynn Lasley (12:37)
You too.

Jen Cudmore (12:46)
How did he how did he word it something along the lines of I don’t like you saying my struggle because it’s like I was defining myself as a person who will always struggle with wanting to eat processed foods and And and so maybe there is some truth to that like what you were just saying there might be some truth to it But to own it and say this is me and to really embrace it ⁓ Really, that’s where the problems come in as you can say a fact you can state

Rosalynn Lasley (13:01)
Right.

Right.

Jen Cudmore (13:16)
a truth, but it doesn’t mean that that’s forever what is gonna be on you. That’s forever who you are. It’s just this little tiny piece of who you were in the moment. And one of the things I talked about at this conference is remembering to focus on the concept of I used to be in the past, right? Or I am working on overcoming this. So instead of just keep saying, I struggle with this, this is my struggle because that…

Rosalynn Lasley (13:22)
Right.

Jen Cudmore (13:44)
brings in a sense of ownership that can cause us problems. I hope that makes sense the way I explained that.

Rosalynn Lasley (13:49)
Right. ⁓ When you

are taking ownership of that label, when you’re saying, my struggle is, it’s like you possess it now, it belongs to you, rather than deciding that this has been a part of what’s going on right now, but it’s temporary.

Jen Cudmore (13:56)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (14:07)
we may struggle with certain labels forever and maybe some labels are valid. You know, maybe they’re not. You know, I’m somebody’s daughter that is a label I will have for all of my life, but that does not necessarily mean it is a bad thing. ⁓ And we can decide that if a label is a negative thing that we are not going to adopt it as our identity. It is something that can be good or we can identify that, you know what, I do fit this label right now, but it’s not who I want to be. And so I’m going to

decide that this is something that’s temporary and I’m going to work on it.

Jen Cudmore (14:42)
Yeah, and I’m to pause right here and just remind everybody that I did create that worksheet, the 3Ls worksheet with the lies, labels and limitations. And it does help walk you through the steps of identifying, hey, here are some some labels that I’ve been putting on myself that don’t serve me and don’t define who I am according to what God says. And so that worksheet, if you need some extra help, definitely grab the link in the show notes and ⁓ sign up for the email list and it’ll shoot it right over. And that can be a helpful resource.

because I think sometimes we look at these things and it feels so big and we don’t know. We can’t quite put our finger on the truth. And so sometimes having a resource like that can be really helpful. But we’re going to talk through some practical steps here on this episode. So framing it.

Rosalynn Lasley (15:18)
Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (15:28)
⁓ in practical ways, think number one, you got to know what the Bible says. ⁓ if you don’t, this is a, ⁓ in fact, I think I will create a resource and I will put a link in the show notes with a list of Bible verses about who you are. Things like I’m loved, I’m accepted, I’m forgiven, I’m chosen. ⁓

All of those kinds of things. will give you, I’ll say like maybe 12 to get you started. Just a foundation and then you can do your own research from there. So I’ll make sure I put that in there. But ⁓ it’s a journey of learning that God delights in us, but we have to have that scriptural foundation. We have to know what the Bible says about how God loves his children. And then the rest of it ⁓ grows from there. So I will make sure that I create a little resource of Bible verses for you guys to, yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (16:02)
Thank you, that’s super helpful. I feel like that

is something that, ⁓ and I learned about it in therapy, but it really does help when you’re struggling with identifying, or you grab these labels and adopt them as your identity, being able to challenge that with scripture and truth and, ⁓

Like you said, you can struggle. I struggle with this, but that does not mean that you are labeled as this, or it is not your struggle that you’re gonna hold on to forever, but you are currently struggling with it, but that is temporary.

Jen Cudmore (16:46)
And I want to throw out too, like it’s important to remember your identity in Christ is not just about feeling better about yourself. Like obviously God doesn’t want us to be berating ourselves and being critical of ourselves. He doesn’t like that.

living according to who God says you are gives you so much freedom. Like you’re just not weighed down by what people think. And you’re not as, you don’t carry so much baggage about mistakes that you’ve made or being stuck in this only one lane when there’s really so many different facets to who you are. So it’s not.

just want to throw that out there. It’s not about so you can feel good about yourself. It’s not about your self-esteem, although that that is important too.

Rosalynn Lasley (17:28)
Yeah, and

those labels that hinder us keep us from being able to fulfill God’s plans for us and the way that we serve Him and serve others. And so if we’re able to ⁓ reframe how we look at ourselves and the labels that have been placed on us by ourselves or others, we can really just step into the calling of what God is asking us to do. Instead of being fearful or limited or discouraged or frozen, we are like, wow.

Jen Cudmore (17:33)
Exactly.

Rosalynn Lasley (17:57)
Okay, so I struggled with this, but I’ve overcome that and now God is going to use me in this capacity because of the gifts that he’s given me.

Jen Cudmore (18:06)
Yeah, that’s so good. I think there’s lots of times where we say, well, God can’t use me in this area because of A, B or C, because of whatever label. ⁓ I’ll throw out an example. When I first felt God was calling me to podcasting, I was like, okay, well, then it needs to be audio only because you didn’t give me a face for TV. And I didn’t say it quite like that, but that was my thought process is like, well, just don’t ask me to go on video because I don’t feel like I…

and the right physical package for somebody who would be on YouTube. And the Lord shot that down immediately. It was like, no, you will do a video. And I was like, you gotta be kidding me. Like, I don’t think I’m ugly. It’s not like that. I just never labeled myself as an attractive person. And so, or maybe that’s not the right way to say it. Like I would not label myself as, know, putting myself in the top 10 % of the most beautiful people on earth.

it came from that place of shame and condemnation of, I’m not good enough to be a face for TV or be a face for social media, so I better just stick with the audio. And so I was thankful that the Lord called me on that immediately and didn’t let me go down that road because I definitely could have leaned into that label of I’m not good looking enough or I’m not attractive enough to have my face out there.

Just throwing out an example of being a little vulnerable right now.

Rosalynn Lasley (19:26)
Yeah.

Yeah. And for me,

it’s like, you know, you’re messy. You’re not organized. You’re a work in progress. You haven’t figured this all out. You’re a quitter. You’re unreliable. You’re not consistent. And so it’s like, how can you come alongside your friend who is not all of those things and do a podcast when, you know, you have so many areas to work on? How could you possibly feel like you’re sharing things that’ll be worthwhile to other people or encouraging them to fix things that you have not worked on fully yet?

Jen Cudmore (19:33)
Yeah, yeah.

Hmm.

Yeah.

you

Rosalynn Lasley (19:59)
⁓

But I think, like you said, God is asking us to step in in our imperfection and say, listen, we have not got this all figured out. These are areas that we are currently working on prayerfully, but I still want to use you as you grow and ⁓ shake off these things that have been holding you down for so long.

Jen Cudmore (20:08)
We don’t.

Yeah, and another piece of that being that, you know, the scripture is clear that what is done in secret will be brought into the light. And if we choose to remain hidden and say, like, I can’t do that because I’m not good enough yet, ⁓ then people miss out on the beauty of watching us grow. And that can be really inspiring. And that’s one of the things that has helped me is, again, I’ve said a million times, God didn’t call me to be polished and perfect on this podcast. He called me to just start talking. And so same for you. He just called you to

one year and a half conversations with me because you and I are not afraid to be real and we are not afraid to be authentic and say look this stinks we’re terrible at this we made these mistakes but God’s grace is bigger and so I definitely

Rosalynn Lasley (20:56)
Thank

Jen Cudmore (21:05)
I love getting comments from people that say, you know, how much they appreciate our conversations and how we do get raw and real and authentic. And it makes people feel like they’re not alone. And so it is really important to not let labels hinder you from what God has called you to, for sure. 100%.

Rosalynn Lasley (21:12)
Yeah.

Yeah.

And you don’t have to decide that because the label has been given to you by yourself or others that you have to carry it with you. You know, like somebody gives us a label and we’re like, well, I better keep it. It was a gift. Like, no, you do not have to keep that. You can decide that like, no, I’m not. I’m not going to accept that. You think this way about me, ⁓ regardless of whether it’s true to you or not. I’m not accepting that ⁓ we can re-gift it.

Jen Cudmore (21:43)
Right.

I remember one time somebody called me a hypocrite and this was quite a while ago, but I remember at first I was so offended and hurt and then I was like, wait a second, I don’t have to receive that. So I rebuked it. I said, no, that’s not who I am. And it’s okay that that person had that opinion, but I am not going to take that label on myself. mean, I almost did. I remember really struggling with that for a minute going,

Am I really a hypocrite? Maybe I am. don’t know, you know, so definitely they can say it, but you don’t have to receive it and keep it. Like you said, for sure.

Rosalynn Lasley (22:19)
Yeah.

Right. And you don’t have to fit

into the mold of whatever has been decided to give you this label. You know, like a standard of beauty or personality type or wealth and status in society. You don’t have to adopt this label because the world has decided to give it to you. You can say, no, thank you. I don’t, I don’t need it.

Jen Cudmore (22:29)
Yes.

Yeah, right. No, thank you. I love that.

No, thank you. Yes. So that we’ll add that to our challenge for the week. When you get a label that’s not from God, say no, thank you. I love it. All right. So let’s talk about a couple of practical takeaways. What are some steps that women can practice to really break away from the old and that false identity and step into understanding who God says they are. I’ll let you start that off.

Rosalynn Lasley (22:51)
Hehehe.

Mm-hmm.

So for us, know, and it’s kind of silly because I’m not great about doing it for myself, but I really try and reinforce it with my kids, is that, ⁓ you know, God says I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God doesn’t make junk. And so if you are wonderfully made, then those negative things are not true or that negative perspective about traits that may be true is not true. Like you are wonderful as a whole package.

Yes, there’s personality flaws. Yes, there may be physical things that we need to work on to be healthier because our calling is to honor the body that God has given us. But we don’t have to just take that on and decide, okay, well, this is gift I was given, so I’m just gonna drag it around forever. And the other thing is, and I always mess up the scripture, but it’s talking about whatsoever is pure and lovely and true and worthy of.

praise to think on those things. And so is this something that’s true? Well, maybe it is. ⁓ Is it worthy of praise? No. So I’m going to decide I’m going to let it go. I’m not going to hold on to this thing because if it’s getting me to a place where I’m not effectively serving the Lord and my family, then it’s not meant for me. I’m not going to carry it around anymore.

Jen Cudmore (24:31)
I love that. think so. You know, deciding to pay attention. What are the labels? Getting some awareness around that. What are the wrong ones? Where is this false identity coming from? And sometimes that can take a little digging. We don’t always realize that we’re labeling ourselves a certain way. And that’s fine. That’s not like there’s a rush that you’ve got to fix this and live this new way. But wanting to pay attention. Like how am I speaking to myself?

Rosalynn Lasley (24:54)
Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (24:57)
And when other people are speaking to me, am I receiving that and taking that on or am I using wisdom and discernment to say, hey, is that really who I am or is it not? So developing an awareness or a discernment around the labels that are being spoken over us, whether it’s ourselves or Satan, our enemy, or people in the world, family, whatever. And then the concept of rejecting it and replacing it.

Rosalynn Lasley (25:23)
Scripture says we’re supposed to guard our hearts because everything we do flows from that. And so, you know, are we surrounding ourselves with influences that are continuing to label us in a way that is not good for us, that’s negative, that challenges who God says we are, that challenges ⁓ the gifts and talents and the callings that God has placed on our lives. Sometimes he’s asking us to do something where we’re not quite talented yet. He’s going to develop those talents in

Jen Cudmore (25:29)
Yes.

Rosalynn Lasley (25:51)
the process of calling us to do something. So if we are surrounding ourselves with people or places or media and those sorts of things, if we’re intaking things that are hindering us and hurting our heart instead of guarding and protecting it, then that’s where we’re going to continue to adopt those labels as truth and it’s going to impact what we do with that information.

Jen Cudmore (26:15)
Yeah, exactly. I remember when the Lord told me that I was an intercessor and I wasn’t sure that I really knew what that meant. And so I just started reading all these books on prayer. Like I wanted to know, I wanted to hone my skills. I wanted to learn and grow in that area. And I’m at the point where I’ve stopped counting. think I’ve read over 20 books and I love the, mean, God’s given me a passion for prayer. So I love that. But definitely like when the Lord shows you something about yourself, lean into that. Don’t just say, that’s nice and move on, but like be intentional about owning it as

we talked about before don’t own the things he doesn’t say but make sure you really embrace the things that he does say and I think moving beyond what the Bible says about you like we were saying that’s gotta be your foundation you have to know the Bible and what scripture says but moving into a relationship with him where you can start hearing him specifically tell you things like for example me being an intercessor ⁓ he I remember he told me that I was a teacher and I was like really nobody wants to listen to me well I learned that through

Rosalynn Lasley (26:59)
Mm-hmm.

Jen Cudmore (27:15)
mentoring actually people do you know do care about what I have to say you know and so really leading into that I had this really powerful sweet experience with God and I was it happened when I was taking a class and we had been studying Psalm 139 about

it says something about ⁓ the our number. Our days are numbered and he’s written things about us in our scroll or in our book. We each have our own book. And I remember having a conversation with him and he’s he was showing me the stars in the sky. And he said to me, no, I want you to understand like how intentional I am about who I made you to be. He said, see that star right there?

that star says that you’re a mom. And see that star over there says, this is the size and shape of your right foot. And I was like, okay, this is like, like I was so kind of mind blown. He was like, this is the star that says you’re an intercessor and this is the star. So it was like, he was showing me that every little tiny detail of who I am, he was intentional about the way he created me, not just my physical body, but like my.

Rosalynn Lasley (28:11)
.

Jen Cudmore (28:21)
my personality traits, the gifts that he’s given me. And I say that because that’s how he feels about every single human that he’s ever created. So he’s so personal and so detailed. When we talk about being fearfully and wonderfully made, that’s what we’re talking about. And so you have to…

Rosalynn Lasley (28:34)
.

Jen Cudmore (28:42)
learn to walk with him in that personal deep close friendship and let him talk to you and be like, no Jen, that’s not who you are. You don’t get to talk like that. But if you would talk like this, you would be a much more beautiful person. And if you would believe this about yourself, then people are going to be drawn to that. Like walk on that journey with him and let him point out those beautiful things that he put in you ⁓ so that you can begin to own that and live it out and learn how to live.

loved.

Rosalynn Lasley (29:12)
Right. As you were saying that, was thinking when you’re describing, you know, this is this part of me or this part of me, and those are the positive attributes of who you are. was thinking that’s God in you. Like these beautiful traits of your personality and your appearance, like the size of your right foot. Like who grew that foot? Where did it come from? That’s God in you. Like, and I don’t know, it just kind of blew my mind. Like listening to you. And I think I’m like, that’s a beautiful.

Jen Cudmore (29:22)
Yeah. Yeah!

Rosalynn Lasley (29:41)
⁓ depiction and I feel like I’m going to use that example with my kids because like it’s just really mind blowing.

Jen Cudmore (29:45)
Yes.

that sweet moment has stayed with me for years. mean, I don’t, mean, that was probably like seven years ago. And I just really lean into that. And when I, when I think about something that I don’t like about myself, I really have to pull back and say, no, wait a minute. What does God say about that thing? ⁓ And that’s one thing that he’s really challenged me on too, is never saying anything negative or critical, which I.

It takes practice for sure. It takes practice because we’re so quick. It’s a habit to say those mean things about ourselves. But I was just on an interview earlier today with another podcast friend of mine and they wanted me to share my story. And one of the things that came out is like,

Rosalynn Lasley (30:16)
I’m.

Jen Cudmore (30:31)
When we look at the ocean or we look in the mountains or when we look at the creatures, like just all the various creatures that God has created, we would never look at that and criticize it and say, God, that was stupid. I don’t like the way you made that tree or that whale or whatever. Like personally, I don’t like sharks. I think they’re ugly, scary, whatever, but I would never have the guts to say to God, you should have never made sharks. They’re stupid. They’re like, we would never.

But yet how many times do we look in the mirror and say mean things to ourselves? How many times do we make a mistake and then berate ourselves like, can’t believe you’re such an idiot that you did that. God doesn’t like us talking about ourselves that way. And yet we do it all the time. So we have to learn to love ourselves the way he loves us, see ourselves the way he sees us, and talk about ourselves the way he would talk about us. that is a challenge to learn for sure.

Rosalynn Lasley (30:55)
⁓ Right.

Yeah, I was telling one of my kids that recently. ⁓ said, you know, if somebody gave you a gift, would you say, ew, no, I hate that? I’m like, no. That’s what you’re doing when you talk to yourself that way. You’re telling God, ew, no, I hate that. And it was a gift. Like you are a gift to us. You are a gift to your family. You’re a gift really to this world. And so every time you, you know, be on yourself, you’re telling God, ew, no, I hate that. I don’t like that gift.

Jen Cudmore (31:40)
Right.

that’s a great way to explain it. I love that. So I wanna make sure you have space to say anything else that’s on your heart before we reach a point of wrapping up. Do you feel like you? Okay. Okay, so I feel like, so here’s our challenge for the week. I wanna leave you with this reflection so you can explore the depths of this final thought.

Rosalynn Lasley (32:02)
No, I think we’re good.

Jen Cudmore (32:14)
You are not what your past says. You are not what culture says. You are not what your friends and family say. You’re not even what you say about yourself.

Lean in this week, ask God that question, how do you see me? What do you like about me? Ask him specifically to begin to show you more about who you are and how you can embrace a life of owning the idea that you’re loved, accepted, chosen, that you’re on this earth for a reason.

So that is your challenge for the week. Spend some time with the Lord. Have multiple conversations with him. Talk to him not just about scriptures you can use as a foundation, but you yourself.

What is it about you that he gave you that makes you so special and why does he love you so much and how you’re different from everybody else? Really lean into that and let him speak to you about how much you are loved and understand who he says you are. So bless you. Have a great week.

Rosalynn Lasley (33:17)
Bye guys, thank you.