E49 When Old Wounds Resurface: Responding with Grace, Truth, and God’s Help

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Jen Cudmore (00:00)
So what do you do when you feel triggered by pain from the past? A memory comes up and it’s uncomfortable. How do you deal with that?

It can be really confusing when that happens. You wonder, why did this come back up when I thought I had already dealt with it? Or you begin to wonder like, why is this bothering me again? I thought it was over it. So join us today. I’m here with Roslyn. We’re gonna chat about why old wounds sometimes resurface and then what tools you can utilize to move past it. So let’s dive in.

Welcome back everybody to Into the Deaf’s podcast. I’m your host Jennifer and I’m here with Roslyn today and we have a lot of discussions that go below the surface and today we are going to talk about what to do when past wounds come back up when these memories surface and we’re not sure what to do with them. So Roslyn, why don’t you start us off on this topic today?

Rosalynn Lasley (01:17)
Bye.

So, ⁓ you know, each time Jed and I record, we kind of, you know, chit chat a little bit beforehand of, you know, what kind of topics would be relevant. And I had reached out to her just recently and asked her to pray for me because I was dealing with some difficult feelings. And, you know, thankfully with my own prayer, I was able to identify them as old wounds that had come back to the surface. And so we thought, you know, this is something that we all will deal with from time to time. And it’s

probably a really good topic to discuss with each other. ⁓ So I’d had two difficult conversations ⁓ this past week and on the surface, they shouldn’t have been difficult situations or difficult conversations. ⁓ But because something within those conversations kind of reopened an old wound that I had thought I had worked through, ⁓ they hurt. And so with prayer and conversation, I was able to identify

Jen Cudmore (02:15)
Mm.

Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (02:31)
the old wounds that were kind of reopened from different things that were said in the conversations that I had. ⁓ so we thought we would talk about it.

Jen Cudmore (02:41)
this hasn’t come up recently, but I remember I had two situations that kept coming up and I was like, why can’t I move past this? So the first one was like, ⁓ I was working at, this was several years ago, I was at a clinic and I was managing the building department and there was a specific doctor who, ⁓ he just wasn’t very nice. And it was like, the more I interacted with him, the more he would become cruel and disrespectful. ⁓

Rosalynn Lasley (02:49)
Thank you.

.

Jen Cudmore (03:08)
And so it came to the point where I was starting to get nervous of him coming into my office. Like legit, like when he would walk in the room, it would be like I would get tongue tied.

Like I didn’t want to run. like literally couldn’t move. It was terrible. So it became really embarrassing because I’m one of those people that’s not great at keeping my emotions off my face. Like you can read me pretty easily. My husband, it’s kind of a joke in with my husband and he can always tell what I’m thinking. And so I know every time the guy saw me, he could tell that there was that there was fear there that he was intimidating me. anyways, ⁓

All that to say, I left the job and it wasn’t even one isolated incident. was just like the longer I worked for him, the more I would just get really uncomfortable around him and frightened. And I was afraid he was going to say something mean every time I saw him, which wasn’t the case. He only said a few mean things over time. so anyways, all that to say, even after I started my new job, I would think about it and I would have this physical response where I would kind of like freeze up and

I kind of tremble a little bit just seeing his face or thinking of his name and I thought what in the world is wrong with me this this is like ⁓ a Weird trauma thing and at the point of that time in my life I didn’t know much about trauma triggers or trauma responses and so I didn’t know that was going on now I can look back and be like yeah I was bullied by this doctor and you know, and so I had a hard time responding well but you know, even now occasionally when I

Rosalynn Lasley (04:28)
Thank

Jen Cudmore (04:47)
think about it, I will feel that tendency in my body to like get really tense or even start to tremble. And I’m like, haven’t worked there in so many years. I haven’t seen him in so many years. Why is this still bothering me? And another situation.

which is little bit different is, I had the opportunity a few times to teach classes on prayer, which I absolutely love. And side note, I am developing a coaching program around prayer, and I’ll tell you more about that soon. But anyhow, ⁓ there was this one incident where this had been set up through a church and the pastor ended up having to leave town unexpectedly. So I didn’t find out until right before the event.

Rosalynn Lasley (05:18)
Thank

Jen Cudmore (05:28)
⁓ I was supposed to be teaching this class and she would not be there to support me So she had assigned someone else to be there and I was like, okay Well, you know at least I’m not like on my own because I didn’t set up the schedule I didn’t know much of anything other than I was gonna show up with this content and I was gonna present it to the ladies

And so what ended up happening was the person that she assigned, we’ll just use the name Jane. Jane was a leader in the church and was so unhelpful and even disrespectful to me that I had a really awful experience. ⁓ I mean, she basically ignored me through the whole thing. She tried to rush me through it. She even walked out at some point and went out of the room with some other women. When I gave instructions at one point,

Rosalynn Lasley (05:59)
and

Jen Cudmore (06:15)
didn’t follow any of them and I was like, what is going on? So it really, I took that personally, you know, I walked away from that going like, okay, well, maybe God didn’t actually call me to be a teacher. Maybe like I wasn’t supposed to teach this class or maybe, maybe that’s not one of my giftings. Like I really felt because she didn’t support me that there was something wrong with me. And so I’d be like that, that took me a really long time to get over and even still now sometimes when I think about it, I have the tendency from, you know, I know this

Satan talking in my ear like trying to get me upset with her like I didn’t deserve to be treated that way I didn’t do anything to provoke her to treat me that way I really for the life of me have no idea why that happened other than maybe she just didn’t even want to be there like maybe it wasn’t personal but it really felt targeted towards me like she didn’t like me and what I was doing and so ⁓ even now even though I have said I forgive her probably a hundred times because

Rosalynn Lasley (06:47)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (07:15)
I was like determined to get over this. I still find myself when I think about it, ⁓ it’s ⁓ is her fault and it’s still I still have that tendency to ⁓ to want to be angry and bitter at her. So those are a couple situations that I have still not fully gotten over. What kind of example do you want to share with us Roslyn?

Rosalynn Lasley (07:32)
Yeah.

Yeah, so I had had a conversation recently related to my job. Excuse me. And the conversation started with, you’re doing a great job. And so, you know, most people would find that to be praise. And on the surface, I should have. But the conversation kind of concluded with, ⁓ you know, some of the people here have no idea what you even do. ⁓ And the, I feel like the phrase that

was used was, but yes, we do need her. And so if you’re dealing with wounds of feeling like your efforts don’t matter and you feel unseen, you feel overlooked, and that’s something that I felt most of my life, it feels like, okay, so people here have no idea what I do, and to the point that they don’t think that the company needs me. And that wasn’t necessarily.

Jen Cudmore (08:31)
Mmm.

Rosalynn Lasley (08:33)
what was intended by the conversation. It was more of like the person that I was having this conversation with was advocating for me because there are people that they truly don’t know. And if I use my reasonable rational brain, I know that there’s a hundred people that work for the company. And so it’s challenging for anyone to know what every single person does and what the benefit is for their position at the company. But to me, it just felt like,

Jen Cudmore (08:42)
Boom.

Rosalynn Lasley (09:01)
Once again, my best isn’t enough. You know, I’m trying all these different things that ⁓ should be beneficial for the company and it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares. You know, I, and so I just really, it really hurt my heart because I’ve had that happen multiple times in other situations, not just in my career, but in my personal life where, you know, I tried really hard to be the good kid and it didn’t matter. I tried really hard to make good grades and it didn’t matter. I tried really hard to

you know, do different things that would cause positive attention and I felt like it didn’t matter. And so it just felt like once again, my best isn’t enough. And ⁓ it really just kind of impacted my desire to show up to work the way that I have, because if it doesn’t matter, if nobody sees me, then why am I trying so hard? ⁓

And then the other situation was with a loved one that I would really love to come visit us. And this loved one has a lot of different anxieties just in general, but especially regarding travel. And so they explained a ton of different reasons why they couldn’t come see us and why it wouldn’t be a good idea. And it was all fear-based. And as somebody that struggles with anxiety, I can understand where they’re coming from.

but it felt like rejection. felt like, ⁓ you know, me and my family are not worth overcoming your fears. It’s not worth the rational side of things of we’re in a safe place. We’re not gonna deal with natural disasters. The plane isn’t gonna go down. And if it does, what have you got to lose? It’ll be instant, it’ll be over, you know? But it felt like, I not worth that to you? And so having these two things back to back of feeling

Jen Cudmore (10:46)
Thank

Rosalynn Lasley (10:53)
overlooked and like I don’t matter. It was just extremely painful because there is that wound somewhere deep inside that has felt that way most of my life. And although I’ve worked really hard to overcome those areas where I feel like I don’t matter, the areas that I’ve been overlooked, the realistic things that have hurt me along the way and the things that have made me feel that way, ⁓ it’s still kind of reopened those wounds for me. And so on the surface,

you know, the one conversation shouldn’t have been a bad one, but it left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. And the other is that it’s not about me, it’s about them. But it’s hard when you have those wounds of rejection and feeling overlooked and like your best will never be enough.

Jen Cudmore (11:40)
when we struggle with shame or not feeling good enough, as we’ve discussed a few times on the podcast, ⁓ and then things happen that sort of continue to fit that narrative and we’re like, see, this is proof. And so it can be really difficult because it totally feels true. It feels true. Like I’m being rejected or, you know, whatever the thing is. So, so Rosalind and I have been kind of like pondering this topic for a couple of

Rosalynn Lasley (11:57)
Mm-hmm.

Jen Cudmore (12:07)
because it feels a little bit fresh and just thinking about, ⁓ what are the tools that I can tap into when things resurface and I’m really uncomfortable and I’m starting to feel that pain again or whatever the situation is? What are some tools, what are some things that we can do to work through that so it doesn’t derail us, so that it doesn’t overcome us, so that we can rise above it and deal with it in a healthy manner? And so that’s what we wanted to present was just some ideas of some things that we’ve learned along the way.

and some things that we try to utilize when we get in those situations. so I would say the first one probably for both of us is going to be that we pray. We start talking to God. We’re like, we know something’s wrong here. We know we’ve got cycles going on in our brain. We know we’ve got big emotions. We can’t handle this on our own. We have got to talk to God and get his help in dealing with it.

Rosalynn Lasley (12:49)
You

Right, and so I definitely prayed about it quite a bit over the last several days. ⁓ And one of the things that came to mind each time I prayed is God is Elroy, he is the God who sees me. And so maybe the reality is I am overlooked at work. Maybe the reality is there are people that are in power that have no idea what I do and don’t know if it is beneficial to have me here.

But God sees me. And so if the fact of the matter became where my job was in jeopardy because there were people that didn’t see value in what I bring to the table, God will take care of me. He is the God who sees me. He’s the God who provides. He’s the God that knows the ins and outs of every effort, every worry. He knows the things that I do for the company that nobody else sees.

He knows that I’ve tried very, very hard to be a good steward of company resources. And so if it became a question of whether or not to keep me, either he would bring those things to light or he would provide for the next chapter wherever ⁓ I landed. And then he reminded me, like, I don’t work for man, I work for God. And so everything that I do is doing it unto the Lord. And so being a good steward of firm resources, investing in the team.

Jen Cudmore (14:14)
Thank

Rosalynn Lasley (14:22)
so that they can invest into the partners, so they can invest into the company. It does make a difference. I am conducting myself in a way that’s honorable. And so if on the surface people don’t know what it is I do each day to keep myself busy, that’s okay because I’m doing it for the Lord. And then for the other situation, he reminded me that ⁓ anxiety and fear is irrational.

it’s not anything to do with me. ⁓ This person does love me and I do know that, but their fear is they are really overcome and captive by their fear. And so I feel like it’s important for me to have a conversation with them and explain, you know, if your worst case scenarios came true, what’s the worst that could happen? You know, because those are the tools that I use when I am struggling with fear myself. Okay, so if your worst case scenario comes true, what’s the worst that could happen?

Jen Cudmore (15:16)
.

Rosalynn Lasley (15:20)
And then here’s all the ways that you can remind yourself that they aren’t going to come true. And if in the end the person is not able to overcome their fear, it’s not because they don’t love me, it’s because that fear has a strong hold on them.

Jen Cudmore (15:20)
Yeah.

oh, that’s so good. That’s so good. I think definitely getting God’s perspective on a situation helps so much because our thoughts and our emotions are not rational. I think even just this morning I was sitting with him and going through just thinking about this mistake that I had struggled with and like, man, why did I make this mistake? Like I was really mad at myself and I was doing some forgiveness work and I was like, why am I struggling to forgive myself for this mistake?

And so I sat with the Lord in prayer and the only thing he said to me was well, I don’t hold it against you Basically the implication of that was why am I holding it against myself? Like why am I beating myself up over making this mistake? ⁓ when when he doesn’t like

Rosalynn Lasley (16:08)
Mm.

Jen Cudmore (16:19)
Not that he doesn’t care, but like he doesn’t care because he knows I’m going to get it figured out. So that was just like, like what I appreciate so much about our heavenly father is that he knows how to say things in exactly the right way that make it click. And it was like, I just had to sit in that for a few minutes and be like, okay, I’m fine. I can let this go. I can forgive myself and I’m not upset anymore. And I just needed a few minutes to sit with him and hear his heart for the situation. You know, think of the, those other two stories that I share,

Rosalynn Lasley (16:46)
Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (16:49)
I mean, that’s what I had to keep going back to is okay, maybe this doctor didn’t like the way I did my job Maybe he was kind of mean to me But what does God say am I pleasing the Lord with how I show up at my job every day? Like am I pleasing my boss? It is my boss happy with my work. Then I’m good and You know with the whole Situation of teaching that class on prayer Just okay. I don’t need to know that woman’s motive. All I need to know is okay

Rosalynn Lasley (17:01)
Right.

Jen Cudmore (17:18)
I did what God called me to do. I led the class. Maybe I didn’t do it as well as I would have liked. Maybe I didn’t show up as my best self. ⁓

and maybe there are people who don’t support me in my calling, but I know that I know that I know that God has called me to teach people how to pray. And so I have to live my life based on who God says I am, and if he says I’m a teacher, then I’m a teacher. And so it doesn’t matter what those women or what that leader at that church had said. And so…

Rosalynn Lasley (17:32)
Okay. you

Jen Cudmore (17:48)
Just getting him to remind us of those things is so powerful, but

we’ve got to take the time to sit with him. We’ve got to take the time to talk it out with him, right?

Rosalynn Lasley (17:57)
Right. Well, and with my position at the company, I know the impact that I’ve made, ⁓ regardless of whether or not I’m receiving the acknowledgement and the accolades from the people that don’t. ⁓ You know, and I do have people that have said things along the way where I had no idea that they’d noticed me, because they’re not somebody I’ve interacted with, because like I said, we have a big company.

So for them to call out things that they’ve seen me do or the way that I’ve invested in my team or the things that I’ve operated differently within the firm, you know, it’s like, okay, maybe not everyone here knows, but God knows and he’s giving you the favor that you need. And other people do see it as well. So you don’t need to be in the spotlight. You don’t need to be the center of attention. You don’t need constant praise. You just have to know.

that what you’re doing is enough and it’s not because of man, it’s because what I say. I say that you’re enough. I see you and keep doing what you’re doing. Keep showing up every day. Keep making these little differences even if nobody else sees it because I do and it does matter.

Jen Cudmore (19:04)
exactly. So definitely getting God’s perspective. I think another thing too ⁓ is identifying, I mean, God helps you identify what’s really going on, but sometimes it’s not just a matter of getting your thoughts in the right spot. Sometimes there’s legit another layer that needs to be healed, that we need to give the Lord our heart and let him take care of it. And we don’t like to dig into our junk, it’s painful,

Rosalynn Lasley (19:25)
and

Jen Cudmore (19:33)
stressful, mean whatever, but sometimes it’s an

opportunity to be like okay this needs to get taken care of, you know the Lord wants to deal with something here and even though I don’t like it I need to create some space. I need to get with him, you know I mean

Rosalynn Lasley (19:43)
.

Jen Cudmore (19:52)
Sometimes you can just work it out with him. Sometimes you need to talk to a friend. Sometimes you might need to go to a professional. If it’s like a really big traumatic thing, you’re going to have to get professional help and we got to be okay with that. I personally believe everybody should go to a counselor a couple of times in their life. That’s just my perspective on my own life. I think that it’s super valuable, but like, can I admit that maybe if I would be willing to deal with this and dig in that it wouldn’t be so bad that I wouldn’t keep having this

Rosalynn Lasley (20:06)
Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (20:22)
hurt come back up.

Rosalynn Lasley (20:25)
Yeah, and I did have that when I was praying about it and asking for the Lord to help me through it. ⁓ In some ways, I was kind of proud of myself because I was able to identify it as an old wound. wasn’t that at face value I am overlooked because I’m not. It wasn’t that I’m not doing a good job and that my best isn’t enough. It’s that that one little teeny tiny comment and a very big conversation, you know,

Jen Cudmore (20:36)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (20:51)
irritated an old wound and for the first time probably ever I was able to identify it as such. And that in itself was freeing because I was able to see like how much work and healing I’ve been doing to be able to say, no, no, this is because I have this wound here. And so this one little tiny thing of this big conversation that overall was very good, it opened an old wound for me and I’m choosing to not let it continue. I’m choosing to not let that be the focus. I’m choosing to

Jen Cudmore (20:57)
⁓ Woo!

Rosalynn Lasley (21:21)
you know, trust what I know to be true, that they said I’m doing a good job, that I don’t need to worry about the rest.

Jen Cudmore (21:29)
Exactly. the enemy is so smart and he knows how to push our buttons. He knows, like

So for example, he knew I was struggling with feeling like I was not a good manager. He knew that I was struggling with feeling like, I really called to teach people how to pray? And so it was like he capitalized on the situation and he used those two people against me. And he, it’s like he took advantage of that situation of me, me having this weakness or this insecurity and then putting a person in a situation that would behave in a certain way that would trigger that old wound of not feeling good enough, not feeling like

Rosalynn Lasley (21:50)
Thank

Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (22:07)
I’m doing a good job at that certain thing. And so the more we begin to recognize how the enemy infiltrates himself and sneaks in and does these little schemes against us, the more we can be like, wait a minute, this is the enemy trying to trip me up here. And so especially when he brings up those

Rosalynn Lasley (22:21)
Yeah. ⁓

Jen Cudmore (22:23)
memories or when he wants something to resurface, we know his tactic is to simply get us all stirred up again. And what do we do? just we don’t take the bait. We’re be like, ⁓ no, I’m not going to get stirred

Rosalynn Lasley (22:31)
Yep.

Jen Cudmore (22:37)
up about this, you know, I’m not going to get sucked into whatever negative thought cycle or whatever. learning to recognize how the enemy uses our circumstances against us to prick those wounds and insecurities, that’s really helpful too.

Rosalynn Lasley (22:53)
Right. And

then I did like I revisited the conversation a couple days later with the person I had talked to at work and said, okay, is there anything I need to do better or anything I need to do different? Because if there is question about whether or not my performance is enough, is there something I can fix?

Jen Cudmore (23:05)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Rosalynn Lasley (23:13)
And the

person said, no, like I told you when we met the other day, you’re doing a good job. So I’m like, okay, then that’s, I have to trust that to be true, not these insecurities that I have. And then I said, you know, you had mentioned that there’s people that don’t really know what I do and would it be helpful to know? And so I kind of just rattled off a couple of things and they said, no, we already know all those things. And so like, if the things that I feel would be like,

Jen Cudmore (23:24)
That’s it.

Rosalynn Lasley (23:41)
⁓ highlightable contributions are known and seen, then there’s nothing different I need to do. They see what needs to be seen, they know what they need to know, I know what I need to know, and if there is something that I need to fix, I need to trust that they’ll let me know. But otherwise I need to keep showing up every day that I have and give it my best and know that my best is okay and my old wounds don’t have to be true anymore.

I’ve worked really hard to not let those be what determines the way I view myself. And so I don’t have to hang on to this anymore. I don’t have to carry it around and keep hurting my own feelings because one little thing that they said made me think of all the ways I felt inadequate. ⁓ I can choose that that’s not the headspace I’m going to live in anymore.

Jen Cudmore (24:30)
Exactly. So essentially what you’re doing was identifying where the lies, labels and limitations were trying to get you and suck you back down. And you were able to capture those thoughts and you were able to say, no, I’m going to focus on the truth, know, which the things that the Lord showed you and the things that you

Rosalynn Lasley (24:37)
Mm hmm. Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (24:47)
when you were able to step back, were like, okay, wait a minute, here’s what’s really going on. I’m not gonna fall for those lies. I’m not gonna let that label get on me again we have to be able to be aware and recognize those ⁓ destructive thought patterns and then ⁓ renew our minds and get away from that. Because they can be habits that can be really difficult to retrain ourselves, right?

Rosalynn Lasley (25:01)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Right. And

if there is something I need to fix or could fix, then I’m pursuing that answer. And if the answer is there’s nothing else I can do, then I’m to let it go because all I’m doing is hurting my own feelings and causing myself to now show up in a way that would cause problems. If I’m doing a good job showing up the way that I was, why would I want to change that negatively? Because I’ve decided that, it doesn’t matter anyway.

Jen Cudmore (25:17)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (25:36)
Well, my best isn’t enough. Nobody knows what I do around here. Okay, well, if I’m going to go the complete opposite of that, then they’ll notice and that’s not what I want.

Jen Cudmore (25:46)
It’s interesting to me that the kind of common thread in the different stories that we’ve shared of just feeling like we have this area of insecurity where we don’t feel like we’re good enough. think that something else that I’ve learned is ⁓ you have to feel the emotion.

Okay, that was hurtful that that doctor said some mean things to me. That was hurtful that that woman didn’t support me in the prayer class like she really should have as a leader. And thinking of them again,

Rosalynn Lasley (26:14)
Right.

Jen Cudmore (26:18)
it’s okay to be like, hmm, I’m sad that that happened. Here I am five years later or however long. I think of it like it’s okay to be sad about it. ⁓

but we wanna, so we wanna feel the emotion, but not like dwell on it, I guess is where I’m going. Like you want to let it, know, kind of ride the wave because it’s not.

Rosalynn Lasley (26:34)
Right.

Jen Cudmore (26:43)
It’s not that it’s bad for you to feel bad about it. That’s not the point. The point is it that we shouldn’t feel upset. The point is working through it and getting to the other side with the healthy tools. And

Rosalynn Lasley (26:45)
Right.

Jen Cudmore (26:55)
so anyways, my point being just sometimes you just need to acknowledge, ⁓ that kind of hurt a little bit. You know, I wish it didn’t go down that way or whatever, right?

Rosalynn Lasley (27:00)
Yeah. Right.

And if I didn’t actively work towards ⁓ resolving the way I felt about it, I could have started showing up to work bitter and offended. I could have stopped letting it make a difference in how I did my day, you know, instead of looking for opportunities to be a good steward of the time and the resources that are interested in me.

Jen Cudmore (27:11)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (27:22)
I could have decided, well, it doesn’t matter anyway, so I’m not gonna worry about it anymore. That’s not what God is wanting me to do. And so by actively seeking healing for what hurt my feelings, ⁓ looking to see, there something I can do different? ⁓ And just reminding myself of what I know to be God’s truth, it allows me to keep showing up the way that I need to instead of being bitter and behaving as somebody that has been bitter and offended.

Jen Cudmore (27:51)
we’ve got to give ourselves space to work through it. We’ve got to give ourselves ⁓ permission to acknowledge, yeah, that was hurtful. That, ⁓

Rosalynn Lasley (27:54)
Mm-hmm.

Jen Cudmore (28:03)
That was painful and whatever process needs to happen to get to a place of healing. think sometimes it can be as simple as just sitting down and talking to the Lord about it and being like, okay, where were you when I was hurt and mistreated and just kind of let him love on you a little bit. And how did you feel about this? Like, obviously his heart is broken just like yours is and he didn’t want you to be treated that way. Sometimes it’s just a matter of sitting down and talking to your heavenly father, right? Or even you don’t even have to say a word.

Rosalynn Lasley (28:15)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (28:33)
Right, but sometimes we heal in layers, especially on the bigger things. I think because I didn’t recognize that I was being bullied by that doctor in the moment. I mean looking back I feel silly. I should have recognized it for what it was in the moment. I didn’t.

Rosalynn Lasley (28:37)
Yeah.

Jen Cudmore (28:54)
certain things take time to heal. Like you might heal and be in a good spot, but then a couple years later it might be coming back up because there’s something else that needs to be addressed. I think also that awareness around… ⁓

the fact that certain wounds are going to take a little time and they’re going to, you’re going to go through different levels of, of healing for it. You know, kind of a concept of, ⁓ peeling an onion and that’s okay. That’s normal. when you think you got over something, don’t assume that it’s fully done and over with. There could be some residual things that come back up later that the Lord will want to deal with. So anyhow, just a few other thoughts around healing your heart.

Rosalynn Lasley (29:21)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, and you don’t

have to undo all the process because one little thing brings it back to the surface. You don’t have to just completely unravel as far as you’ve come. You can acknowledge it. You can feel it. And then you can.

Jen Cudmore (29:40)
Yeah.

Rosalynn Lasley (29:49)
you know, keep working on it. You can use the tools that we’ve talked about and the tools that you’ve practiced and I don’t know, it’s kind of freeing when you see it, like you have the opportunity to practice it in real time and, you know, see like this is effective because the next time this comes up and maybe in a different way, I know that these tools will work because I’ve used them.

Jen Cudmore (30:01)
Absolutely.

Exactly, you’re exactly right. And I think because all of us are a little bit different to being able to acknowledge that it doesn’t have to look exactly the same as the process that Jen and Roslyn followed. Like we can take these tools and adapt them to our own situation and our own lifestyle, our own personality and work that out with the Lord. ⁓ We just want to present some things that have worked for us to get you thinking about, okay, ⁓ here’s some ways I can deal with it when things come up. So any other

Rosalynn Lasley (30:23)
All right.

Mm-hmm.

Jen Cudmore (30:41)
thoughts around this just this whole idea of what to do when wounds resurface and memories come at us.

Rosalynn Lasley (30:48)
I think just reminding ourselves of who we are in Christ and when we have a hard time recalling that, ask for his help ⁓ because that is of so much more value than anything the world has to offer.

Jen Cudmore (31:01)
Yep, you’re so right.

You’re so right. more we get to know him and who he is, the more we understand who he created us to be, the less that stuff ⁓ can stick to us. We can shed all that stuff that’s not true. Absolutely. All right, everybody, as you go about your week, let’s explore the depths of this final thought. What can you do to be more prepared when old wounds resurface?

Rosalynn Lasley (31:14)
Thank

Mm-hmm.

Jen Cudmore (31:31)
which one of these tools that we discussed today or maybe something you’ve learned elsewhere, can you utilize to keep from getting derailed and getting stuck and getting overwhelmed when these old memories come to mind or when a new situation pricks on an old?

Wound is there a painful situation right now that God is wanting you to deal with and make sure you make some time to do some healing with him sit with him or if Necessary go get some help from a friend or a professional Don’t let that linger if you don’t deal with it. It’s not going away It’s going to keep showing up in other ways. You’ve got to work through it No matter how uncomfortable or painful it is. So we will leave you with that bless you friend. Have a good week

Rosalynn Lasley (32:16)
Bye.